Alfonso de Leon and the Fountain of Youth

Since the Comstock Act has been mentioned lately in the news….

Alfonso de Leon was a distant descendant of Juan Ponce de Leon, the legendary explorer who spent his lifetime seeking the fountain of youth. Stung by his ancestors failure, Al (I’ll call him Al) became obsessed with the thought that it was up to him to justify his ancestors life by making this discovery.

Realizing that to complete this task he would need a great deal of money, he began by starting several hi-tech companies, then selling them for billions. He became part of the billionaire club that focused attention on finding immortality but he distained the methods that they attempted. Gene editing — phagh! Diet restrictions — yuck! Cold storage — bleh! No, not for a relative of the famous Ponce! He knew that actually, somewhere in the world, there was an actual bubbling fountain the waters of which would give not only eternal life, but eternal youth.

Al spent his money mounting expeditions to the far corners of the Earth in search of this effervescent source. He climbed high mountains, forded roaring rivers, crawled across burning deserts, froze in the ice sheets of Antarctica (the fountain could, after all, be serving its potent potion chilled). All of this to no avail.

Finding himself on the wrong side of fifty and not getting any younger, Al fell into despair. Was this just a fever dream he was following, an impossible chase after the sweet butterfly of youth, a terrible waste of a lifetime? He…