Don’t Get it Twisted, Love is a Beautiful Thing
Or so we are told! Pop culture portrays love as the winning force in all movies, books and music. Time and time again, we are told that the most important thing is love. That we were created to love and be loved.
Interestingly, research has proven this to be fact. Countless research studies have shown that having a healthy relationship is essential for our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. In particular, healthy relationships have been proven to reduce stress and give us a sense of purpose, as well as longer life.
So how can we have better relationships? As a researcher, it only makes sense for me to turn to data to identify tips on how to have better relationships:
- First off, research shows that when looking to build a new relationship, we should not get too hung up on similarities. In fact, similarity of personality and preferences does not matter, what matters is the ability for the couple to have a shared identity.
- What also matters is the degree of devotion, loyalty and determination (DLD) the couple has to make the relationship healthy and successful. Angela Duckworth, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania collected the DLD scores from 6,362 middle-aged people and found that those who have higher DLD levels are more likely to stay married.
- Complainers and argumentative people are more likely to have a more lasting relationship. Psychologist John Gottman’s research shows that those who argue and complain the most in their relationships are more likely to have healthy relationships. In fact, he remarks: “three years into the relationship, if you’re not fighting, that’s the indicator of an unhealthy relationship”. The key here is communication.
- And finally, your optimism is a predictor of the health and success of your relationship. Every relationship has challenges and the way you confront these challenges is a predictor of the future of your relationship. Psychologists Kim Buehlman, John Gottman, and Lynn Katz from the University of Washington found that couples who talk about their past challenges in a negative light are more likely to file for divorce within the next three years.
I do not know about you, but I am going to keep complaining and being argumentative because I want to reap the rewards of being in a healthy successful relationship! That’s what the research shows, right?
Contact Versa Research, your trusted research partners!
https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/5-benefits-of-healthy-relationships
https://time.com/4366236/relationship-secrets-research/
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20181011-are-relationships-better-if-partners-are-more-similar
