“I’ve wined and dined with kings and queens, and I’ve slept in the gutters eating pork and beans.” — Dusty Rhodes

All great art can tell teach us how to live our lives for the better. Art is a key which perhaps unlocks emotion within us. Think about how fascinating that is. A musician unpacks his or her emotion into a song which can be then re-packed and experienced by the listener! Movies too are representations which help us cope in a world where there is seemingly no meaning. The true warriors gaze into the abyss and create something where we may then sing along to, watch, study, and/or cheer with. The true warriors take an off-the-top-rope DDT.

The world of professional wrestling is taboo in many mainstream circles. Circles which use fake and staged synonymously. Fake. Nobody in their right mind would stand up in the middle of the movie theater, spilling their buttery popcorn on the floor, and shout at the screening of the 300 sequel: “People still watch this fake garbage?”

For those that still don’t appreciate this world, see the following:

Unfortunately, the dude with popcorn wedged between his belt buckle is missing out on these 5 legitimately fantastic ways of living that are taught through Pro Wrestling. So dust off your boots, and prepare for full-catastrophe living! *Metal guitar*

1. Most of the time, put the needs of others before your own

Putting on a wrestling match takes the synergy of two professionals. Moves always require teamwork. A wrestler must take due diligence and look after his dance partner by making him look like a threat. This is known as selling, and is the art of making an opponent’s move look real and painful. While it may seem that altruism does not apply to pro wrestling, politics are involved all the time. Wrestlers with egos may “no-sell” certain moves in a selfish attempt to appear stronger and “above” the match. Backstage, wrestlers frown upon this behavior as it looks unprofessional and cheapens the business.

There are times, however, that altruism does appear. Top wrestlers that are booked as powerful and unstoppable may respect a young wrestler for talent that executives in the company genuinely do not see. When they are told to squash the jobber IRL, they may refuse. They may take extra care to put their opponent “over” — that is, to look better in front of the crowd. Smart fans appreciate the subtle influence of a wrestlers real-life character on the match and in turn, respect the in-ring product more.

Altruism has been found to increase the general life satisfaction and physical health of the giver. The same study, however, found that feeling overwhelmed by altruism can have a strong negative impact on one’s life. If a wrestler becomes too good at selling and does not have a strong offense, their only role might be that of making other top guys look good, limiting their fan interaction and salary. Help others, but not at the expense of your health. If you find yourself saying you’re ‘busy’ all the time — perhaps you deserve to get the pinfall for once. Your sanity depends on it.

2. Be authentic

Being the best in the business can mean different things depending on your life-stage. 9 times out of 10, a young fan will get giddy at a John Cena victory over the older smarmy fan. A teenager who is just finding out that life has no purpose and wants to straight-up rebel against authority will be more inclined to be a CM Punk fan. But, as pro wrestling shows, to stick around as the best sometimes requires being a “backstage politician” and in with the executives. Fans seem to sense inauthenticity.

Being the “people’s champ” and carving out your own path in life can be much more satisfying. You are best at living your own life — not someone else’s.

Zack Ryder, for example, got over (i.e. popular with the crowd) and screamed authenticity while running his own TouTube show. Through his social media prowess, fans organically began to chant “We want Ryder!” at arenas, despite the little-to-no promotion on WWE’s end. If you are ever feeling the pressure of clocking in 9-5 at your supermarket job, just remember that Zack Ryder did it. Booker T was arrested before becoming the 5 time WCW champion. CM Punk had no stable home with an alcoholic father before becoming the Best in the World — without the initial support of the WWE executives. Daniel Bryan was “too small” and those in the company scratched their heads as to how they would be able to make money with this “indie nerd”. Steve Austin had to contractually grudge through being “The Ringmaster”, a gimmick forced upon him, until finally becoming a slightly-exaggerated version of himself as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, landing himself authentic admiration with all fans, while simultaneously earning WWE the most it’s ever made in such a short time. Be authentic, because we all sense bullshit.

3. Don’t let your past mistakes stagnate you

Our brains evolved to grow accustomed to situations by forming habits. We therefore choose the easiest route when we decide on how to act. Heh, it saves energy. Unfortunately, attending a networking event instead of playing an extra game of online poker requires a lot of willpower. It’s tough, but don’t let past procrastinations dictate the future. To borrow from Dale Carnegie, live with day-tight containers, as each day is new. That’s how the character Batista viewed his life, when he chose to never again be pushed around by his leader — Triple H. While Batista and his group Evolution rampaged through the WWE, cheap-shotting and double-teaming their way to allow Triple H to keep the belt, there was always the chance to change his life.

After turning on his evil leader, Batista instantly became a crowd favorite, and all was forgiven. Don’t let your terrible actions of the past define you.

4. Live beyond your lifespan

Yes, it is true; pure imitation won’t allow you to become successful. However, too often we worry about creating something new and original, as if that’s attainable to begin with! Accept that creativity is remixing past ideas into something worthwhile and your ways of perceiving the world will expand. Wrestlers adopt old finishing moves all the time and also learn from the greats in order to become a better version of themselves. If you are good enough, people will give their respect regardless without calling your art a ‘rip-off’.

Bray Wyatt is not a rip-off of the Max Cady character in Cape Fear. There is a definite influence, but it is not sheer imitation. Dean Ambrose studied Roddy Piper promos and certainly has that flair in his mannerisms. Ambrose, however, is Ambrose. You’ve reached the pinnacle of Mt. Creation when you create a work of art that is seemingly new, worthwhile, and imitable. Pro Wrestling should be praised for teaching generations to live lives like authors and seek to become immortalized through great words. Having charisma and a sense of humor really helps all of us Dharma-sufferers here on Earth, so why not become quotable? “And that’s the bottom line, ‘cuz Stone Cold said so”.

5. Die for your art

Since 1984, there have been well over 100 wrestlers that have died under the age of 65. Pro wrestling is a dangerous art form. Gruesome injuries occur, such as Mick Foley taking a choke-slam off the top of the cell having his tooth impale his nose.

Freak-accidents, drug overdoses, and years of brain trauma resulting from diving headbutts across the ring all shorten lifespans. Having to travel over 300+ days a year with little sleep, there are limits to the amount of hobbies and long-standing relationships a wrestler is able to develop. I don’t understand the adrenaline rush that comes with entering to your theme music, but something can be said about the passion Ric Flair shows in the following clip.

Carlito, on the left, had a genuine reputation as a slacker backstage, and in this “scripted” promo, Flair goes off about having to have guts to succeed. What’s so great about this promo is that there is genuine authenticity on Flair’s end. It’s as if the script of a mere vehicle to deliver how he truly feels about passionless wrestlers.

The same can be said about you. Do you have the passion and the guts it takes to earn travelling first-class? Are you willing to die for your art? If not, you may be just another Jabroni, rushing to your grave.