Is my Self-Help journey OVER?
I just came back from Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Mastermind in NYC. It was a three day workshop that covered topics from public speaking, to leadership, spirituality and more. I was looking forward to this for a very long time and believed that it would be a life-changing experience for me. Although I enjoyed the course, I didn’t have the same experience that many others did.
I have been studying the Law of Attraction for over fifteen years, and started my own self-help journey many moons ago. I have gone really deep, in therapy, at wellness retreats, in my yoga and meditation practices, and I spent so many years de-constructing the past and healing with a open heart at a soul level. I am sure many of you reading this don’t even know what I mean when I say that, and I am not sure how many other 31 year olds have had muscle testing to heal past lives and karmas, sat in deprivation tanks, participated in sound baths, and burnt their lists of limiting beliefs into roaring fires. Lets just say, when I do something, I go all in.
At the age of 15, I put my Mother into rehab for the first time and became the parent figure at home. I remember researching the health care system, finding the best three month treatment programs that my Father could afford, and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I remember going to Al-Anon meetings and being the only young girl in the room. I remember begging my Mom to stay in rehab a little longer and to accept the treatment. I remember the 2nd and 3rd time I forced her to go back into treatment, taking her to the hospital, picking her up off the floor, and how out of control and scared I felt. I remember how it completely destroyed our family unit that was once so strong. My grades in school were the last thing on my mind. When I had the chance though, I did release. I dated senior ‘bad boys’ who took me to parties and introduced me to drugs and I spent many days in bed hung over. I was searching for that release, that escape, but quickly after a year or two realized how this path was going to ruin my life as well and it scared the hell out of me. When that broken 15 year old girl who felt lost and depressed opened up the phone book and found a therapist to talk to, she never looked back. The calling to find myself came at a young age and it was so loud that I couldn’t ignore it, even when I wanted to at times. A spiritual self-help journey obviously wasn’t the norm at that age, and most of my friends were dealing with issues that typical 15 year olds deal with. They were worried about what grade they got on their test, who they were going to dance with at the school dance, etc. and I wished that those were my only worries too.
Finding myself, balance and happiness become my life’s work, soul purpose and top priority in life. If you told that 15 year old girl that I would be where and who I am today, I wouldn’t have believed you, and I am sure everyone who knew me wouldn’t have believed you as well.
But fifteen years later, I am the happiest and the healthiest I have ever been. I have reached my fullest potential, and am living out a life beyond my wildest dreams. I have a successful personal and professional life and feel so much joy and happiness in each and every day. I can’t wait to jump out of bed in the morning, and I look forward to coming back home after vacations or weekends away, because the life I have created for myself is so good. I do realize now, that all of the struggles and hard times I have gone through, were part of my story, and I wouldn’t be the person who I am today without them. My Mom and I have the strongest relationship today than we ever have, and she is happy and healthy today.
So my biggest realization from the retreat, and my biggest take-a-way from this weekend was that I am healed and I am whole. My fears and limiting beliefs are no longer holding me back and I don’t need to attend a retreat or read a book to feel complete. I learned my lessons in business quickly after a major let down and I bounced back strong just seven months later! Every wound that was being triggered in my last company and with my old partner is no longer true. I proved them wrong, but more importantly, I proved myself wrong. For the first time in my life, I no longer question my abilities, my self worth or my purpose. My businesses are thriving, amazing new people keep showing up in my life, I have the most stable, supportive and loving partner who I cannot wait to share the rest of my life with, and I am just basking in it all and blissing out. This weekend put my life into perspective. For the first time, I don’t feel like I need more. I don’t feel the need to belong, or be accepted, and I am perfectly happy where I stand.
This type of enlightenment is a gift that women like Gabby Bernstein, Abraham Hicks, Danielle LaPorte and many others help women (and some men) to find. Their messages and lessons are so healing and so important, and I wish everyone in the world could hear them. As I promised many of you, here is my re-cap and favorite take-a-ways from the Spirit Junkie MasterClass weekend:
- Hold the space for yourself and others through the commitment of your presence and ability to connect with source. Gabby Bernstein
- Be the light. Sometimes being the light means simply being still, being quiet, or being in the dark at times. Rha Goddess
- Start, and the pressure will be off. This goes for everything! Take one step forward to release the pressure, the fear, the worry. When you have that moment of courage and strength, go for it! Gabby Bernstein
- Eff it, lets go! Develop this mentality and go for it to create success, happiness and whatever you want in life! Gabby Bernstein
- Only loving thoughts are true. Jordan Bach
- Pretend that you have your own dream talk show! What would you write about? What topics would you discuss? Pretend as if this is true on social media. Jordan Bach
- Is my intension to give something or to get something? Ask yourself this question every time you post on social media. Jordan Bach
- Ask your network what they want you to teach them. Don’t guess. Kimra Luna
- People like to be told what to do. Step into leadership boldly and confidently. Manifest rock star status if that is what you want! And use google. Anyone can learn anything through google and youtube. How to create a webinar, a online course, just read. (No one on stage had a business degree or any idea what they were doing when they began (including me). We all just began and the pressure was off. Kimra Luna
And….my biggest take-a-way of all was the twenty five minutes listening to Rha Goddess. I had never heard of her before this weekend, and in just a few minutes, she told me everything I needed to hear.
10. Self-Worth: People are confused about self-worth. Self-Worth just is. By being born, you are already worthy. Nothing more, nothing less. You are as worthy and have as much self-worth as everyone you compare yourself to and everyone who you think is below you. You were born with your own gift, talents, personality and self-worth is your birthright. Rha Goddess