If Love isn’t going Right… try going Left
Love is a cliche. What hasn’t been said about Love?
Music, being a muse, art, history, poetry, expressing oneself, sharing an (romantic) experience, gift giving, etc etc etc…
Even with all the cliche’s in the world, it still remains true — love is a feeling.
What we call Love is the chemical formula known as Dopamine (C8H11NO2), serotonin (C10H12N2O), and Oxycontin (C43H66N12O12S2). When combined naturally within ourselves we can’t help but feel all hopeless in love. Taken in high dosages it will result in death. You can literally Love somebody to death!
The point of this article is simple…love is a hard thing to move past. Even when it feels so right. Even when you are compatible sexually. Even if the smallest moments feel infinite and you stretch it out so that it will lasting for hours. Love is indeed a drug. For those who are lucky and reciprocate equally towards each other, it can be an incredible force of support and completeness. For those who have so much love to give but nobody to give it to it can be so lonely. Then you have the unbalanced love. It is still love on both ends but one person puts in more then the other and that too can feel overwhelmingly difficult to handle.
Think of it as this….
Both of you have an empty dirt filled yard. You both assess it and through communication and time start working the land. At first you both wonder if you have the same mindset and taste of what the yard should be like. Some compromises are made but you still move forward. You see progress in the yard and grass starts to bloom and now the yard is Green. At first you are excited because it is filled with so much life you overlook the patches that were missed. This will fix itself with more time and growth and attention to detail right? As time passes you plant flowers and trees and really invest in the garden. Then you take a step back and look at how everything is doing. You notice that the pieces you personally cared for and planted are flourishing. Your partner seems to be at your pace but everything they have planted has not flourished as well. So you try to get them to mimic how to tend to the garden so that it can grow better. At first they do as you do and it is going well… then they slack…. you bring attention to it again and this time they say they are fully dedicated and you really see the effort but it starts to fade again. They are comfortable with how things are. The garden is green, they have you, and that’s all they need. But the garden remains green because you attend to it, making it work and even taking over the parts that were initially not your responsibility to look after. Once in a while your partner might jump in to help but this effort is short lived and you are once again making it work to stay Green.
Love should always be 50/50. And in tough time it might be 40/60 or 30/70 until the other person is capable of putting in that missing 10 or missing 20 percent. But settling for “just enough” is doing the minimum for what Love is all about. Commitment + Sacrifice + Appreciation + Honesty + Loyalty + Quality Time + Understanding + Forgiveness are what defines love for me. It is considered a job for your emotions. As long as it runs smoothly it will feel effortless. And as long as you can give and receive love it will always show the fruits of your labor.
Love is no stranger. I have dated many people in my life but I can only say I have been In Love with only a few. They have created an emotion so powerful it has brought tears to my eyes towards the end of the love cycle. This is the worst place to be because you are so charged with love for that person that you have to deplete yourself in order to move forward. Not an easy things to do. Nobody will compare to their love (you tell yourself) and this might be true and not necessarily a bad thing. Why go through the same experiences you know what to expect when you can start over and experience something new. They will remain unique just like your first love, second love, third…. you get my point. Nobody alike but yet they still generated the feeling and sensation of love.
Being alone is scary. Time and life is so unpredictable. But the world is so big and there are so many people out there. Life only asks for patience, being open-minded, and the ability to be vulnerable so that you can one day let somebody else have a chance at love…. and maybe JUST MAYBE…. they will be your one and only and THAT is a title only one person can have that no previous love can compare :)
One day I will move on my love…. but today it hurts to love you….