The Truth Is We Ignore the Truth
Yesterday someone hit me on Facebook telling me how they enjoyed my posts and my writing. And that sometimes I come off a little jaded but that she enjoys it when I write about my insecurities and vulnerabilities. She thought it was brave. Of course I got stuck on the jaded part. Not the nice parts. Because that’s what most of us do. Am I jaded? I try hard not to be. Have I always been jaded? Some folks, especially as they get older, say they’re not jaded that they’re experienced. They know that the world and the people who inhabit it are not perfect, that things don’t go as you want them to go, as you think they should go. People will let you down. You will let others down. You will let your self down. That’s just the way it is kid. That’s the truth. Accept it. Or you’re going to be in a world of pain. It seems like sage advice. Or pessimistic and depressing.
I have people in my life who always smile and always have a positive outlook on things. I marvel at how they do it. I question if that’s how they truly feel on the inside all the time. Because that’s what I do. I should spend more time being around people like them I think. But I don’t. They’re usually super busy. Everybody wants a piece of them. People like happy people. The jaded, the sullen, sulk alone eating meals and drinking by themselves getting annoyed at people’s Tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagrams. Look at these people. So fake. Pretending that their life is amazing when we know that it’s not. They’re trying so hard to get everyone to envy them. For some we know the “truth” about their lives off social media. And posting certain things may be their coping mechanism. Someone recently said, She’s posting pics on the beach but cries herself to sleep every night. That’s kind of sad. Or is it? Maybe she’s trying via social media and the comments and the likes help. Why even bother knocking that? What pleasure does that bring us? Does it make us feel better about our lives?
I put truth in quotes because what is that really? We say we want honesty and truth and then when we’re presented with it, we question it, tear apart, mock it, or ignore it. Racism? Sexism? All that stuff? Tell me the truth. I’ll take a true racist or a fake one. I’ll respect your honesty, not your racism. Before it felt like things were kept from us. Information stashed away by the elite controlling us minions. Only if you knew the truth you wouldn’t think that way. Now it’s everywhere. It’s all out there. We don’t know what’s true anymore. We know the evil practices of most of our favorite corporations. Apple, American Apparel, Amazon…that’s just the A’s. Then there’s WikiLeaks and Julian Assange, NSA and Edward Snowden. Celebs who beat women. Floyd Mayweather. Terry Richardson. Uber. Whole Foods. Go Daddy. We get appalled. Our food is messed up too. I still eat non-organic meat. Tomorrow there will be an article about how organic is bad for you too. There probably has been. I’ll buy Made in the USA products and feel better about myself. Of course it helps that there are some good clothes being made here. But if there wasn’t would I still be buying them? Probably not. Convenience comes first. For all of us.
Truth will set you free but what will a lie do? That line from Style P from Black Rob’s “Can I Live?” always stuck with me. Listened to that song a ton on my Creative MP3 player. Took like 30 minutes to load 10 songs on it. Truth makes us uncomfortable, makes things inconvenient. Inconvenient Truth, right Gore? We hate getting lied to by others, especially those we trust, hurts us, makes us jaded, upsets us. But we all lie. Twist things just a bit to protect whatever image we think others have of us. Just little. Nothing major. Small lie to avoid the big hassle that the truth may unleash at that very moment. Tax seasons here. How many of us will ask our accountant to get creative or ask our friends for accountants who can get creative. A little lie to benefit us. Hey, they do it, we think. But when they do it and they get caught doing it, we get mad at them and call them frauds.
And if the truth is that I am jaded, would you judge me? Would you want to work with me? Be my friend? Date me? Hold on, record is skipping. I’m back. If I told you I was jaded, would you believe me? There are moments when I have expressed myself, made myself vulnerable, and revealed an insecurity, and a person has questioned it’s truthfulness. Really? I can’t see that. Gee thanks. You’ve just guaranteed that this will never happen with you again. It’s hard to see others as flawed. Being enamored will impair your vision. It will put pressure on the other person to live up to your vision. I imagine that’s what a lot of parents do to their children. Dump their hopes and insecurities on their offspring and then set them out to the world to thrive or even just survive.
Everybody wants to be loved. I used to think that. Now I think everyone wants to be accepted. Perhaps that comes with love. It’s free to love. You can love whatever and whoever you want. It sure would be nice if the thing you loved actually loved you back. But people love their cars. Do cars love you back? I’m sure someone will say that their dream car does indeed love them back. Who am I to question? I’ve never had that kind of relationship with a car before. Maybe one day I will. Fans love their teams and celebrities. So yeah love is free. Acceptance is hard. Especially when there are stark differences. It’s easy to accept people who are like us, who see the world the way we do, who hold the same values and goals. But the flipside? There’s so much division in this country. And the sides hate each other. Refuse to meet halfway.
Now break that down to our personal relationships. We grow some strong beliefs as we get older. Our roots are planted deep in the soil. Somebody comes along and questions your beliefs. Somebody comes along and says hey this is me, this is how I work, this is how I live. How many of us can truly accept that? It’s possible to love someone deeply and not fully accept them. I’ve experienced that. And now I wonder if that means that I’m sticking to my convictions and not willing to compromise. Or that I’m insecure in them, getting rattled, and shutting down. We’ve been taught that nothing but greatness is acceptable. People send back food at restaurants that don’t meet their standards. But the world isn’t a service industry. And the world isn’t here to serve us. That we have to accept.