How Goapele’s Closer and Others Save Me.
Because music is one of my coping mechanisms.
For the introduction of my #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek posts I wanted to talk briefly about coping mechanisms.
Healthy coping mechanisms are great because, when your brain is musty — you tend to do musty things.
Most of the time when in a negative spiral I find myself eating atrociously and not looking after myself at all. My body inflates and my self-esteem lowers. It all becomes quite unbearable.
So the following is a collection of things that help me ‘cope’ when the times get really rough.
Books: Roxanne Gay’s ‘Ayiti’ and Junot Diaz’s The Brief Wondrous Life…
I have recently picked up Gay’s Ayiti as it will be republished in the U.K. this year. She is one of the best writers I have ever written and I was taken in by her work in Difficult Women that we discussed on this episode of Mostly Lit and so I wanted to have a read of a work that was specifically about the region she had come from.
Short story collections are always good for me and my mental health, as they are a briefer commitment than a novel, and they also give me a short dose of trying to bring myself back into reality when I had been so out of it.
As for The Brief Wondrous Life, that is the novel that helps me recover and think about where I was when I first read it. I was in Spain, and bored honestly, but there is always a place in my heart for this book. I don’t look too fondly on my time in Spain, but this book is a great reminder something small that impacted me in a huge way.
Film: The Wood. Harry Potter and Toy Story.
Do any of these need explanation? Thought not. Next.
Fitness: Running, Swimming, Moving.
Feet pounding against the ground. The water flushing through your hair and across your skin. These are all of the qualities that escapism is made of and made FOR. While I am one for the gym, but admittedly not as often/consistent as I would like, there is something about the cardio and endorphin rush that comes with the intensity of these activities.
Music: Goapele — Closer
There’s something about this song that is so pertinent. When I was a tween I had an irrational fear of dark corners, so would always keep the lights on to keep them illuminated.
I was also (and still am kind of) an insomniac. Mostly because I had awful nightmares and was too afraid to sleep.
I remember I had an iPod Classic. Before I left it on the H17 bus on the way back from a singing lesson, I always used my extensive music collection to get me through my sleepless nights.
And so one of my go-tos would be Goapele’s Closer.
Her voice is so calming. Like that spiritual auntie you have who always had locks and beads in her hair and around her neck.
But what really struck me, was the lyrics.
Closer to my dreams
It’s coming over me
I’m getting higher
Closer to my dreams
I’m getting higher and higher
Feel it in my sleep.
The words were clearly written to help me sleep.
But what happened as I grew older, as my mind became convoluted by so many external factors . So many issues. So many problems. So many spiritual blocks.
It was just the other day that I played this song on repeat and really listened. It’s a story about reaching for the stars. Not being confined by limits. Not being stuck. Learning that you will get out of the rut you’re in. Remembering there is more to the way we are and the present situation can always be changed.
Here’s the song:
Finally, FOOD.
God help my future spouse. All they have to do is provide me with a wholesome meal/cook for one another and they’ll see me slide out of my hermitage in no time. I say this. It still may take 3 weeks, but I’ll chew the food with an internal joy. Especially if calamari and plantain are involved.
What are your go-to things for coping?
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