Why is taking life acceptable cocktail party conversation, but making life taboo?

Friends, family and neighbors have expressed that they are very disappointed in me since I began writing erotica. I have been told "it’s beneath you", "you’re wasting your talent", "I’m shocked because you’re better than that".

Yikes, in three weeks time I've gone from acceptable human being to persona non grata.

I'm not shocked, I'm not surprised, I'm saddened.

Let me tell you a little something about myself that will explain why I am what I am.

I lost someone very close, very dear to my heart in early 1983, someone with whom I was seriously involved with romantically. Can you say ring finger?

I lost him when the Marine barracks in Beirut, Lebanon were destroyed by suicide bombers and many Americans, as well as French, were killed. This is all I’ll say on this subject. Ever.

Understand that I can be quick to anger and have been known to be extremely reactionary. My reaction to this event was to immediately march down to the Army recruiting office and enlist. My way to mourn was through revenge.

Thankfully, I've reached a point in my life where I take the time to pick my battles which are actually worth the bruises, to help people not destroy them.

For a very long time now, after waking up and realizing that hate is not the way to right a wrong, I've spent my time involved in addressing world-wide human needs issues.

Please don’t call me an activist, to me the word is pretentious. I’m a worker bee who avoids self-indulgent “look at me I’m wonderful” uppity grandstanding. I do not desire the moniker, and I hate to say it but I see that alot and that’s a shame because good intentions need not end. Kindness and caring do not have set time limits or an expiration date.

Militarily, I have seen things that nobody should see, done things that were necessary but were immensely difficult to do. FYI, not looking for pity, these are just experiences that shaped me.

With my involvement trying to help other humans I've also seen things that cannot be unseen, and I know that I have become desensitized. But seeing articles and videos about animal cruelty and abuse make me cry like a goddamn baby and give me nightmares. That tells me alot about myself. And, sadly, I'm not the only one like this.

To me, it appears that our society has become less uncomfortable and less distressed with man's inhumanity to man. Taking it in stride without barely batting an eye, until it hits close to home. And it's easy for some to dismiss killing and death in some parts of the world because "it's always been that way".

Yet we remain so ungodly uptight and puritanical about sex. No frontal nudity or major side boob or nip slip. Holy Moly, get thyself to a nunnery if you’re exposed to the sight of a penis or a vagina.

A friend of mine is so afraid to look at her husband's penis that she will only "have relations" with him if the bedroom is pitch black.

According to her, most of the time he tries to initiate sex with her, she tells him to "Get that ugly thing away from me". Her words, not mine. It’s a miracle that they have three children. Cynically, I’m not ready to rule out immaculate conception even though they are some of the meanest, most contemptible kids I’ve ever known.

Don’t utter the words dick, prick or cock, and wash your mouth out with soap if you say pussy, cunt, cunny or snatch.

Never publicly talk about eating pussy or sucking cock. And never, ever talk about fetishes, homosexuality, anal sex and much,much more — dirty, dirty, dirty, sin, sin, sin.

If you watch people fucking and don't turn away you're a perv who should be shunned. Porn is the devil's work, and if you enjoy porn you're going to go to hell and meet the old boy yourself.

Personally, I fucking love porn. It’s fucking awesome! I’m always learning something new and exciting. I fuck, fuck, fuckitty, fuck, fuck love it! If you don’t like my attitude then you can fuck off Fuckwad.

So sue me, flog me, put me on a plane, whatever. Lock up your children, tar and feather me, brand my forehead, do what you gotta do.

My point is that any thought, word, deed, body part, or vision that helps to create life is verboten, while deeds and visions of taking life are more easily discussed, or viewed as somewhat de rigueur.

Making life and taking life are at the opposing ends of the good/bad spectrum. This should be a no brainer. Will our blinders ever come off? Will the scales ever fall from our eyes? Will the beauty of sex ever be socially exulted and not condemned?

Someday perhaps, but until then I will continue to keep my fingers, toes, tits and pussy lips crossed.

Keep fucking my friends.