i gave my brown bananas to chrissy teigen

This morning all I had was five brown bananas, and now I have John Legend’s black Calvin Klein boxer briefs… and a Becca palette and a signed Cravings cookbook from Our Lord and Savior, Chrissy Teigen.

She told me over DM that she’d vouch for me as an official Chrissy Teigen recipe taste tester, so I’m adding it to my resume. (She also told me via DM that I was very cute). Who knew that being unemployed and skipping a morning workout would prove to be so lucrative?

I was watching South Park (season 6, episode 10) when I saw Chrissy’s plea and remembered the fruit in my kitchen going to waste. Then I took the selfie heard around the world while my boyfriend ignored the multiple takes and bananas rolling around (extra browning).

John’s underwear was definitely enticing—I am planning on slipping them on to absorb his energy and then will frame them on my wall—but meeting Chrissy’s mom was the true prize. Photo op of a lifetime. The video of me taste testing the bananas for Chrissy and her assistant is floating around somewhere.

Within minutes, E! News recognized me as “a random person in LA” which validates my LA status more than a job or license ever could. I’ve always wanted public acknowledgment and I finally got my big break. Meg Zukin: a random person in LA.