Sex is the one thing society fears the most…
I cannot but wonder what we would feel toward those whose work involves intimacy if we exchanged the word pornography (see below) for the Greek word for love; Eros. By exchanging one word for another, we change the dynamic involved for the reader as most who encounter one or the other have biases that cause a learned, autonomic response.
The word “pornography” originally meant writing or depicting (graphikos from the Greek) stories or images about whores (porn). So let’s try to find a reason or reasons we respond to words the way we do when those words elicit feelings we’ve been told to avoid.
Simply put, by using words to approve or disapprove of behavior that the tribe feels is contrary to its goals, is a way to teach compliance.
If your tribe seeks wealth, then productivity is a positive word. So too, is the phrase “hard working”.
If your tribe seeks territory, then words like hero or warrior, are used to psychologically conscript youth before their ability to reason is fully developed.
So, using the two previous examples, if either or both of these tribal quests are paramount, then making sex “taboo” works to ensure that pleasure and leisure are subjugated to the “needs” of the tribe. Who wants to work hard or risk life and limb, when they can stay home and fuck?
There are volumes on the subject of “belonging”. So, I’ll not take up more white space trying to convince or educate, but instead, I’ll offer an alternative way of thinking about those we fear, a thought experiment, as it were.
Suppose we convince naysayers to participate in an experiment. Suppose we put them in a dark room, one where there is no light, and ask them to hug three persons and determine which person is the ugly person, which person is to be feared, and which person is the “good” person, one who can be trusted.
The first person will be a sex worker. The second, a soldier, and the third, someone with a disfigured face. All three will be of the same gender, depending on the sexual preference of the naysayer.
If the experiment’s requirement restricts all contact to a simple hug, while maintaining complete silence how will the naysayer choose? The answer is; it will be an arbitrary selection (probably based on smell). And some involved in the choosing experiment will be shocked at their choices, maybe enough so to eliminate or at least weaken their existing bias(es).
I hope the “dark room” metaphor is a reality we’re approaching as a society. A point in our journey to a truly civilized world, where the sex worker is accepted and the soldier is a thing of the past.
In the meantime, there are those of us outside your industry, who would love to have a cup of coffee, or a drink with you, not because of any sexual attraction (I don’t know who you are as a performer, as I don’t follow the industry or watch the films) but because you are a lucid thinker and a fine writer. Please keep up the writing.