It’s OKAY to get Married before Me.(Love Letter to my Kid Sister)
This morning, I woke up to a post on facebook, where someone was mocking Linda Ikeji on her Kid Sister getting married before her.
I WANT TO CORRECT THAT MISCONCEPTION AND MYOPIA OF THE MIND.
The choice of being wedded and married is a personal decision and as thus should be clearly respected and honored, same goes to the remaining Single.
I have just one sister from the same womb with my Mother and I would clearly give her out in marriage before me, (Walk her down the aisle if my mom permits me).
They say the joys of a mother is to see her daughters get married to good men and have wonderful grandkids, they don’t know they satisfaction of every Sister is to see her sister Happy and Accomplished.
Fortunately for Us (I and my Sister), we have not been labeled or tagged with the comparison of “Your mates don do this or that” neither from our father or Aunties or Uncles, we have been Blessed with women who want to see us accomplished first but always added a “Good man” in between prayers for us.
I remember one of my Late father’s friend who saw me and asked how my husband was?, which husband? i Barked back, He immediately with a frown on his forehead, (disappointed i guess) asked how old i was, i asked him how old he thought i was and he went further saying i should be married… (Disapprovingly shaking his head).. i got very rude, asked him if he was my father and hissed as i walked past him.
Not that my father was that expectant of a husband for me sef.. I know exactly the joys that parents feel when their children get married, i cant deprive any one who’s based their standards on that either but It is not easy to bring up strong women who are mentally and emotionally independent to decide what they want to accomplish in their lives..
So this is my Love Letter to my Kid Sister.
Dear Asko, Lampit (Like our grandfather and father called you)
I have loved you from the first day i named you and respected ever decisions you have made because i trust you to bare the consequences of them, i have known you to be strong, loving, selfless, emotional and stubborn (like me) yet very reasonable.
If you choose to see a man befitting enough to have a family with, you don’t just have my Blessings, Support and Encouragement to Marry him.. You have the Blessings of God to Bless your home.
You do not need me or my permission to accept him, if your heart has accepted to love him regardless of his shortcoming.
As long as he is man enough for you, he is man enough.
Do not EVER assume that getting married before me would make me any less of an elder sister or Jealous in anyway. You are in no competition with me or any of your peers. Know that!!
Remember when Ol’Boy died, Uncle Adu was ecstatic as to being the one that will “Eat our Bride Prices”, how he always bragged about the Yangaaa he will make when we bring our “Fiancé” to him in the village. You remember how we called my mother (That what we call her) and told her that she has the sole right to eat anything that will come out as price on our behalves, we made it clear that he brothers would eat off this price than our uncle, to even imagine that the man we both loved inexhaustibly wouldn’t see us blossom alone was enough pain to see another stand in his state. Momsiii, disapproved sha, with her tradition, tradition thing, then my father’s brother died. (Case closed)
I wish above everything that you will find Joy, Happiness and Respect in the heart that one who will love you greater than i have loved you, enough to have a family with.
And if you decide to not get “Married”, i pray the world knows how strong of a woman you are to defend your decisions, and how i would still LOVE you like killodee for who you are.
Before you become any one’s wife, in-law, mother or grandmother, You will ALWAYS REMAIN MY FIRST TRUE LOVE AND ONLY SISTER.
So No One reserves the Rights to Judge you, Curse you or Harm you or Belittle your existence.
That NO ONE CAN TAKE THE BRAGGING RIGHTS OFF ME.
I EARNED IT.
Cecilia Iniperitiari Dikibo
(Daughter of the Creeks)
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