Navigating the Emotional Terrain: The Power of Emotional Agility in the Professional Field

Photo by Naomi August on Unsplash

In the fast-paced and competitive professional world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and stressed. With deadlines, client demands, and team dynamics, emotions can run high, and it’s easy to get caught up in negative feelings like frustration, anxiety, and self-doubt. On an average a person speaks sixteen thousands words each day. So imagine how many unspoken course through our mind. Most of them are not facts but they are just evaluation or judgement entwined with emotions.

The conventional belief is that difficult thoughts and feelings have no place in the office. We have been taught to exhibit confidence and suppress any negativity that arises within us. However, all healthy humans possess an inner stream of thoughts and feelings that includes doubt, fear, and criticism. Our mind is designed to function this way, and having undesirable thoughts and feelings is inevitable. The problem arises when we become hooked on them, which can happen in two ways. Firstly, we treat those thoughts like facts (e.g., “This happened with me last time also…I am a failure”) and avoid situations that evoke them (e.g., not accepting a new challenge). Alternatively, we challenge the existence of these thoughts and attempt to rationalise them away (e.g., “I shouldn’t have thought like this…I am not a failure”), forcing ourselves into similar situations. In either case, we end up paying too much attention to our internal chatter, wasting our cognitive resources that could be better utilised.

This problem is often perpetuated by self-management strategies such as positive affirmations and prioritized to-do lists. Research shows that attempting to minimize or ignore our thoughts will only amplify them. Successful individuals in their respective professional fields do not suppress or become hooked by their emotions; instead, they approach them in a mindful, values-driven, and productive way, developing what we call emotional agility.

Now, the question arises: how can we develop emotional agility? Is it something that is God-given 😇, or is it a skill that can be acquired with a little practice?

Let’s understand with a case study

Getting hooked

Cynthia is a Product Manager at a big tech firm. Despite working 80 hours a week, she often felt exhausted and struggled with her inner voice that constantly reminded her of her diminishing creativity and lack of personal time. At times, she found herself in tears at the end of the day and would take drastic measures to silence her inner critic.

Getting unhooked

Fortunately, Cynthia realised that she couldn’t go on — at least not successfully and happily — without more-effective inner strategies. So she followed four practices:

1. Recognise your patterns: The first step in developing emotional agility is to notice when you become entangled in your thoughts and feelings. There are certain telltale signs that can help identify this. One sign is when your thinking becomes rigid and repetitive. For example, Cynthia noticed that her self-criticism played like a broken record, repeating the same message over and over again. Another sign can be when the story your mind tells you is old, like a rerun of past experiences.
2. Label your thoughts and emotions: When you become entangled in your thoughts and emotions, your mind can become cluttered, making it difficult to examine them objectively. One way to achieve objectivity is through the simple act of labelling. Just call a thought a thought and an emotion an emotion. For example, “My coworker is wrong — he makes me angry” becomes “I am having a thought that my coworker is wrong, and I am feeling angry”. Labelling your thoughts and emotions helps you see them as a transient source of data that may or may not be helpful. As Cynthia started to slow down and practice labelling her thoughts, the criticism that once weighed heavily on her became like a cloud passing through the sky.
3. Accept them: The opposite of control is acceptance: not acting on every thought or resigning yourself to negativity. Take 10 deep breaths and notice what is happening in the moment. This can bring you relief but won’t necessarily make you feel good. Instead, it’ll make you feel how upset you are. The important thing is to show yourself some compassion and notice what is really going on both internally and externally. When Cynthia acknowledged and made room for her feelings of frustration, she began to realise that this is a tough situation and it will only make her stronger for the future. She also realised that she is not alone in working that hard, as many of her peers also put in 80 hours of work.
4. Act on your values: When you unhook yourself from your difficult thoughts and emotions, you expand your choices. You can decide to act in a way that aligns with your values. You will be able to ask yourself: Are you taking a step towards being the leader you most want to be and living the life you always wanted? The mind’s thought stream flows endlessly, and emotions change like the weather, but values can be called upon at any time and in any situation.

In conclusion, emotional agility is a critical skill for professionals in the fast-paced and competitive modern workplace. By cultivating emotional agility, professionals can improve their resilience, reduce stress and burnout, and enhance their overall well-being and performance. So, it’s time to start navigating the emotional terrain with confidence and agility, and reap the benefits of a more fulfilling and successful professional life.