Working backwards, amen on the Lawyers. I’m a relationship type individual so when I found an attorney that got me, I signed on the dotted line. Unfortunately, it was super early in the process, and I treated her and the paralegal more like counselors and that was wrong. I made brutally poor decisions that literally killed my marriage (I think, still in divorce process). My wife fired her attorney (or got a new one, not sure which) and next thing I know my attorneys were doing an about face reversing any advice given earlier. I shared openly that I’m a wreck and expected them to empathize with it. Wrong. I now open my email and cringe for two reasons — one in case my wife has emailed me and two if my attorney has. Horrible.
Incredibly vulnerable. I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that and my daughter is 6 so I’d love to see more from you on handling her in the process. We still haven’t told my daughter even though daddy has moved out and she only knows that daddy & mommy need space. We are both doing the best we can but my wife left me — I don’t want the divorce. I generally love her and I realize I’m not super great at the partner thing but mostly out of ignorance and bad habits. I’m an addict but I’ve been clean for quite some time, sans, sites that are questionable since she told me were divorcing. The only healthy thing I’ve done since Aug 17th when she told me the first time is starting a blog called Divorce Hurts — www.a.divorcehurts.com — to just share my open book. If I knew this Medium thing I probably would use it better but I just need somewhere to get all the emotions out.
I’m getting a bit better everyday but I miss my family, my beautiful home which just got a completely remodeled kitchen and I’ll likely never get to enjoy it. This is similar to the lift & tuck my wife got but I’ll never get to see her naked and get to enjoy it. Divorce is killing me, it sucks, and I’m only surviving.
I like reading articles like yours as it gives me hope. Right now, I’m just praying all the time and turning to God, need Him badly.
