3 weeks after what went down in Philadelphia…
Is it weird that I have been waking up at 6.30am-ish for the past few mornings?
I’m feeling emotionally better but my ankle still hurts so much.
Yoga has helped me but I do start to feel the impatience in practicing yoga — I know it’s because I’m on the road to recovery. But when I practiced Yoga at New City Love (my favorite yoga studio in NYC thus far) this morning, I felt so much angst within myself because I couldn’t stretch my right foot out as much as I wanted it to be able to. I wasn’t able to do a simple action of lengthening my foot upwards and flat on the ground while stretching and doing downward dogs. I thought I could, I believed I could, but it got way too hard.
I resented myself for being incapable, for bringing this upon myself.
I was in so much pain at my company’s launch event on Thursday night when I had heeled booties on. But I had to act like it’s okay.
I want to get better soon. And I know that waking up at 6.30am everyday without an alarm, all while feeling worried that I have overslept for something, even when I have no plans, shows that I’m not. I know that having occasional nose bleeds from my left nostril shows that I’m not. I know that listening to icy, electro-pop with a mix-in of blue house music on a frequent basis shows that I’m not. Think A R I Z O N A.
I know that during the fall, I landed on my right ankle instead of my head. I know that it’s the third time I have injured the same damn ankle.
It has been so crazy. Everything is so crazy. It’s unexpected how life works out. And I’m currently flooded with schoolwork and the past few weeks at the office has been crazy too.
I’m going crazy. But I’m anchored to my spiritual roots no matter what.
I want to recover soon.