Other people have said what I want to better than I can, so I’ll keep this short. I understand; I am a trans woman, and though I have never been of a magical turn of mind, I would like to be. I understand that transition most likely wouldn’t work for you, or for other people I know; it wouldn’t work for me, not yet at least. And I hope you get to a place where you feel comfortable, and happy, if not with yourself then in the world.