How is This the Right Thing To Do?
Saying yes to everything puts me in a bind.
After putting so much effort into honing my craft, I finally got a web developer position at my school newspaper. It isn’t that difficult, I just overheard that the position was open because my desk was next to the advisor’s office.
After pitching interactive web stories and a more robust digital media I also got the editor in chief sold on the redesign of the website — which is on the Wordpress platform(convenient for me, I was already doing a php side project to make me qualified for the position). The focus will be on making it more modern and up to date, and will require hours of me going back and for from a code editor and my Lydia account to go up the steep learning curve of taking on such a big project.
Meanwhile, at the store I manage, I’m suffocating. My hands off style is irritating an employee who is a little more hands on than I am. Thinking that I don’t do enough and that I am not a good manager even though the store has made more money than it did last year. That’s because I spend so much time working on social media promotions and thinking about how we could direct more people into the store. I also am planning on making a new website for to up store image. All the work that will require hours of me looking back and forth from my Lydia account to my analytics dashboard to find out how to do social media. And I know no matter ow much explaining I do to that employee, she will not understand. I hate when they won’t understand.
I then accepted an offer to make a video for my friend which has now been a side obsession to my current side obsessions, while at the same time I want to learn how to use adobe muse to make a simpler personal brand site — and I want to do all that before this new years.
I assume that I only need to accomplish one of these projects to be successful, and that’s why I say yes to them, while my personal life caves in on itself because I am becoming more invested in my work.
Everything seems interesting to me, and every challenge requires the best of me and a sense of urgency to keep learning more and more. And I feel an increasing sense of dread that I won’t be able to keep up.
I don’t want to work like this forever, but I want to work hard so I can work on my own terms in the future. I want to be so valuable that I can chose my working conditions and spend time with my family. The only way for me to do that is by spending all my spare time saying yes to side projects that stretch me.
I have no idea if this the right way to do things, but I can’t imagine myself stopping. The stress isn’t even a good motivator to slow down, I want to be in the crucible, on the steep learning curve, and I’ll do it alone if nobody will do it with me.