Trans-Acceptance in America
My good friend Nick posted a question today that got my motor running and me wanting to address. The question was “What are your guys’ thoughts on the White House claiming that they will federally crack down on recreational marijuana? Do you think its a bit odd that they are saying its okay to leave decisions on transgender bathrooms up to the states but enforce weed federally, even though many states have already legalized it for recreational use?”
This is a complex issue that has no short answer, so I decided to write a long form response. I address the weed thing but really care more about figuring out how to further the acceptance of things human beings do not have a choice in, like being transgender.
At first glance, yes it’s bullshit to say the transgender issue left up to states is one thing but weed enforcement federally is another, HOWEVER, technically speaking weed is still prohibited federally and the government in charge has the right to enforce that in which ever way they choose. While Obama’s administration didn’t choose to enforce weed strictly in the latter half of his tenure, don’t forget initially Eric Holder and co. raided MANY legally operated CA state dispensaries and shut them down in the beginning. If we wanted this to be a non-issue today, we should have removed it from a schedule one drug 8 years ago so this wouldn’t have the possibility to happen. It sucks, but it is the law of the land.
Second, while it can be hard to think people today are scared of, misrepresent, disagree with, and are bigots towards transgender people, we must break down why that is and the fact many people don’t understand what being transgendered entails. For many I doubt they personally know someone who is transgender. I assume when they hear the word and media explanation as merely “what gender a person identifies with, or as”, they immediately think of Hollywood and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs, or maybe some dude just dressed in drag being a creep with weird sexual fetishes. They don’t think of Lavern Cox, Laura Jane Grace, or the Wachowski sisters when they hear the word, so how can one humanize Buffalo Bill?
It’s not unreasonable, then, to think why a Dad living in rural Oklahoma who only has a bad visual association and background with the topic would think about his 8 year old going to a public bathroom and coming across a ‘trans’ person, getting scared by that thought followed directly by being pissed off that the federal government would ‘force’ this to happen, those fascists! (Again, we might know this isn’t the reality of the situation and think it’s a dumb fear because it’s so far off from the truth, for some that’s all they might know.)
So if this change will be left to the states, how do we make this acceptance happen locally? I suggest it’s through hard work and that art will play a big part in this. (Why do you think art programs are being de-funded anyway?)
People who are trans must be successful in whatever field they choose to make a living in by their talent, merit, and hard work while not using what they didn’t choose as a talking point of why they are successful or aren’t. This isn’t to say hide who you are at all but rather, normalize this by not using things we do not choose as a shield to hide behind.
(I’m sure someone will be offended and think that I’m an enemy but I promise you, I am on your side!!!)
Being trans is not a choice, just like skin color or sexual preference or genitalia we are born with. Therefore, like all things we do not choose and just are, it should not be used as an explanation as to why somebody is good at something. If you happen to be trans and are an artist, just go make a piece of art no one can deny the talent behind not even in Alabama or Kentucky. If you are a musician and are trans, write a song that is so catchy even the most ignorant person in Wyoming or Nebraska will like and sing along to.
By celebrating the things we do not have a choice in, it’s counter-intuitive to the message of not discriminating against those very same things. If you shouldn’t be discriminated against things you didn’t choose, why then should we celebrate them? Think of it this way, it’d be like white people saying hey, we didn’t choose to be white, we shouldn’t be discriminated against because we are white, but we should celebrate that we are white. Just writing that felt bad because we know what happens when celebrating things we don’t choose, it leads to bigotry and persecuting others, and a non-inclusive mindset of things we have no control over.
I get wanting to shove the acceptance of differences down close minded peoples’ faces because it’s 2017 and why the fuck aren’t we all there yet? It’s stupid and ignorant and frustrating because it holds us all back, I know! BUT, being that type of ruthless right now will not get people to change towards acceptance and only further isolate and alienate us while creating more hate.
The goal is to accept everyone so live it; not by holding up your ‘this is why I’m different’ flag but by your ‘this is how we’re similar’ flag.
The band PWRBTM is an example of good intent with misplaced execution. I love they are trans unabashedly and celebrate it and create safe spaces for other trans and gay folks by making sure there are uni-sex bathrooms, etc. This is great for people who already get it but does nothing to convert those who don’t, and can push those people away because the show isn’t about the music.
(If you’re thinking: ‘Fuck that and fuck this guy. People who don’t get it are bigots and dumb and why should we have to cater to them? They discriminate against us and the things people don’t have a choice in and have it way easier, they should fuck off. If they don’t like it here they shouldn’t be here and you know what, we don’t want them here anyway!’ I totally understand your frustration! However, in thinking this way in terms of them, and they, and leave if you don’t like it, you become just as closed minded as the people you think you are more open-minded and accepting than and made the case as to why this should be a state issue and not a federal one. Whatever happened to ‘when they go low, we go high’ anyway?)
I challenge PWRBTM (and all trans artists) to make things so beautiful and powerful and moving that people who aren’t trans or gay and live in small towns want to come see your art and in the process they learn about the culture behind who created the things they like. When the culture is the point, it can feel more like a sick exploitation and capitalization on a market of people who are vulnerable much like churches preying upon those looking for acceptance.
Any thoughts?
(This article comes from the heart and from a place of love. In doing so I acknowledge that as a straight white Christian male who was born a male, I need to learn more about the transgender community. If I used bad examples, wrong terminology, etc, I’m truly sorry and would love to be corrected so I can help not hurt.)