30 Years Sober

thirty years
clean and sober
I never knew 
him drunk
or loaded
in his
defense
I will say
he was trying
failing
trying again
and failing
even more

when he 
got high
I couldn’t 
fucking
stand him
when he
picked up
the bottle
and added
it to his
drug
I fucking 
hated him
worse

enter antabuse
and a 
better attitude
he knew he
had already
lost me
and today
he continues
to clean up
sober up
and be whole
for us

when he 
got high
I couldn’t 
fucking
stand him
when he
picked up
the bottle
and added
it to his
drug
I fucking 
hated him
worse

thirty years 
of marriage
and sobriety
when he 
relapsed
I told him
I would have
never dated him
liked him
fucked him
or gone 
anywhere
with him
today
he is better
for now
but only 
because
he doesn’t
want to
lose me
forever

when he 
got high
I couldn’t 
fucking
stand him
when he
picked up
the bottle
and added
it to his
drug
I fucking 
hated him
worse
but today
I still 
love him
he is 
my husband