Sex positivity, video games, animals, sunshine, and a whole lot of love.

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About Me

Hi friends! My name is Caitlin Jill Anders, and I’m a full-time writer living in Los Angeles. I’ve loved to write ever since I was a kid, and I’m very fortunate to be living out the dreams that little baby Caitlin had of being a professional writer and getting to connect with people from all around the world. I’m so thankful for everyone who has helped to make this happen and continues to go on this journey with me.

There are a lot of little things about me that people might find interesting that have helped to shape who I am today. I guess if I had to make a fact sheet about myself, it would look a little something like…


You may just fall in love.

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Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

The first time I walked into a sex shop was the first time I realized exactly how many different types of toys and props there are that you can use when it comes to sex. It’s honestly mindblowing. Even though there are tons of things I still haven’t tried and some that I maybe never will, I absolutely love that there are so many options. There really is something for everyone, and that’s pretty damn cool.

Sometimes toys can seem scary if you’ve never used them before. You see how they look and know what they do in theory, but it can be nerve-wracking to actually bring them home and give them a try. Both solo toys and couples toys can produce some anxiety, especially if you’re walking through a sex shop trying to weigh your options and figure out what’s right for you. Between all the different sized vibrators, BDSM displays, and huge molds of penises, it can definitely be a little overwhelming, even for the most sex-positive of people. …


You have to save yourself.

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Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

For years, I was involved with a narcissist, and pretty much everyone in my life could see that it was a terrible idea. Very few friends supported our relationship. The reservations and doubts were constantly being hurled at me from every direction. People accepted (in the very loosest sense of the word) that the person was in my life, but only because they could see that nothing they said was going to change my mind.

They were all right, of course, but I couldn’t see it because I was in too deep. Every time I had a moment of clarity I’d get pulled right back in. …


One for every month.

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Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Even though a lot of New Year's resolutions miss the mark a bit, the idea is well-intentioned — we want to work on ourselves. The root of it makes sense, but there are better ways to work on yourself than trying to lose weight or have a ton of sex. Those so-called goals probably aren't going to get you very far.

In terms of your sex life, there are definitely healthy ways to try and spice it up a bit or figure out exactly what it is you’re trying to get out of it. Whether you’re starting off the year with a serious partner, dating around, or flying totally solo, there are plenty of ways to focus on your sex life in the new year — and, coming from a sex writer, they may not be as wild as you might think. …


A poem

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Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

I rolled over and saw his eyes,
and that’s when we realized
neither of us could sleep.
We padded to the kitchen together for water,
and played with the cat for a while.
Back in bed, I told him about how
I don’t use my ceiling fan anymore,
because I’m afraid of earthquakes.
It was somewhere around 5am,
but he still didn’t think I was crazy.
We laughed and talked about natural disasters
until we finally tried to sleep again. …


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Learning as I go

Choosing what to stream next is not at all an easy task. It sort of seems to be a consensus among streamers. Maybe it’s easy for some people, but personally, I’m anxious and indecisive. Choices are not usually my forte.

As I was doing my dance of the indecisive, my partner who streams suggested I subscribe to Xbox Game Pass, where you can download games for PC too. He was browsing through all the different options and texting me about ones he thought I’d like when all of the sudden he got super excited. “SPIRITFARER,” he texted me in all caps. …


Unpopular opinion time?

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Photo by Chewy on Unsplash

In the movies and on TV shows, there always seems to be a period of guesswork involved with falling in love. Are they going to call me back? What are they feeling right now? Where is this going? Do they love me? Do they even really like me? It’s always dramatic and never very fun — and seems to happen to a lot of people just as often in real life as it does on screen.

Feelings are a tricky beast. When you’re romantic with someone and things start heating up, it can sometimes be hard to know if it’s love or something else. We try to take our time and not rush into anything while also just feeling all the feelings as they come. …


Potentially controversial opinion ahead.

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Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash

“He was so cute, but then he ghosted me!”

“I really hope she doesn’t ghost me.”

“A lot of them just ghost me immediately.”

If you’re a human with friends who have ever used dating apps, this probably sounds familiar, right?

“Oh, they ghosted me,” is a phrase I’ve heard said all too often by friends using apps like Tinder and Hinge on their search for “the one.” For those of you out of the loop, ghosting is essentially when someone stops talking to you. A lot of people will match with someone on a dating app, exchange a few messages, and then claim they got ghosted. …


You can do it too.

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Photo of author by Cristen Geller

As the year ended, I was faced with the annual task of ordering a new calendar to hang on my wall. I think the tradition started when I was a kid. My mom would get us each a different themed calendar to hang somewhere in our room, and even once I moved out on my own, I knew I wanted to continue the trend.

I started to figure out my next calendar and realized I’d be sad to see my current one go. …


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Moving from The Sims to Stardew Valley

As I started planning out my new Twitch journey, I tried to brainstorm different games I could play on stream. I started with The Sims 4 because The Sims has always been my go-to game, but I was a bit stuck on where to go next. I knew that playing a variety of games was a good strategy to go with because it draws in all different kinds of viewers. I just wasn’t quite sure where to start.

When my roommate first got a Nintendo Switch earlier in the year, she started playing a game called Stardew Valley and mentioned how fun it was and how she thought I would like it too. When I saw one of my partners streaming the game on Twitch himself, I was immediately intrigued and decided that’s the game I would try next. …

About

Caitlin Jill Anders

Full-time writer with anxiety figuring it out. I like talking about sex, mental health, relationships, and everything in between. https://linktr.ee/caitlinjill

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