Fraternity Boy rules.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not talking ‘bout all frat boys, aiite? Some fraternities are filled with those sweet, dorky dudes who are sensitive and whatever, idk. I’m talking bout the frat boys who scream “Alpha Male.” This is also purely for shits and giggz, so stop getting your panties in a wad. lets continue

Rule 1: don’t date them. If something in your head says, “you can change him,” I’ll titty-slap you and boot you out of the frat house. I don’t need to say more about this, dating a frat boy would be like dating a perpetually xanned out toddler. It’d be funny as FUCK-but I know some of you chicks are tryna get married and whatever-so you’d probs be disgusted lol.

Rule 2: jungle juice will kill you. Need I say more? I’m a beer gal, so I never really touch the jung-j unless the beer is out-but from what I usually observe: jungle juice hangovers are THE WORST.

Rule 3: don’t spend the night. Unless you have some special arrangement (NOT DATING) don’t spend the night with a booty call. IDK about you-but I don’t like waking up to my mistakes.

Rule 4: don’t be a sensitive weenie. I hate it when chicks come crying to me because some frat guy was a dick. If a frat guy is a dick-you be a dick right back. Don’t get pissed your feelings are hurt. Shit is funny-you just gotta know how to handle dat. jafeel?

Rule 5:call him out on his weak sex-game. IDK what else to say but honestly, you can’t look me in the eye and say that the 1.5 mins he was inside of you was some of the best sex you’ve had in your life. This rule is optional, but recommended.

Rule 6:don’t think the hook-up will lead to something more. Referring back to rule 1, don’t think that him blindly poking at you in a frat house room that reeks of dip spit and shitty-k at 2am on a Saturday morning will lead to marriage. That’s just some dumb-ass shit, dude. It’s called “Booty-call,” not “First-step-to-a-loving-relationship.”

Rule 7: less is more. If you’re an OG, who knows the shit-don’t start hooking up with the frat boys who wear nice clothes 24/7 and talk about the stocks on Wall street. The less the dude cares, the better for you. Rollin up, reeking of Natty and looking shambly AF? No problem. Also your beer gut?A OKAY!!!!

Rule 8: sports. If you don’t like sports, at least know some basic facts about it-so when a frat boy plays pong and air-balls, you won’t say “Wait, isn’t he actually hella good?” When his fellow bro yells “KOBEEEEEEEE.”

Rule 9: condoms always. I don’t need to explain this. AT ALL.

Rule 10: enjoy the frat experience. I am an advocate of the frat boy. Every girl should enjoy the frat lyfe, it’s so #college, and it’s fun as fuck. No expectations, and lots of free beer/weed/blow/butt-sex/whatever you’re into.