Hold No Grievances
Sorrow is something we fear. Grief an unbearable feeling inside our stomachs. Tears take our breath and replace rest with long uneasy nights. We run from these sad emotions. We give them the power to take our happiness. In that moment, the moment we accept loss as an option, we become victim to depression, misery, unhappiness, dejection, and all other words that essentially define seperation.
I write to you today as a fallen warrior who rose after finding her strength and happiness. Grief became my friend. Wrapped in melancholy with an occasional foolhardy outburst, I wept on the floor, sweat through nightmares, yearned for the shape of another human to fill the now empty space on my bed, and prayed for an awakening, a revival. The universe had its way of rerouting me. Though many wise words found their way to my ears streaming together sentences about moving through this emotion, listening and waiting isn’t where I found triumph.
In the moment where I faced the object which, in my mind, caused my suffering and I had the choice between sorrow and acceptance and I choose neither, I knew I had been gifted a special lesson. Unconventional, but unfailing. A voice whispered in my ear, “Give no power to this, hold no grievances where light is meant to take space.” My instinct gave me an answer, and still every inch of my body and every spark in my mind yearned to calculate, interpret, and disect the meaning of the situation. Each moment I chose light, my ego fought for air, “You are losing, again. Fight back.” Instead of scrambling to fix the situation in hopes to subdue the rising uncomfortable feelings, I replayed the words of wisdom like a mix tape on repeat until the darkness subsided “Give no power to this, hold no grievances where light is meant to take space.” Then as I released the desire to act, I felt more power than I’d ever felt. Energy rushing out every limb, as if I were an extension of the divine light within me showering upon the world. Freed from pain, freed from the opinion of others, and freed from the belief that I needed to change or work to find security and safety. I had succeeded at beating sorrow.
This is what I learned: I always thought I would rise, but really I reigned. No one can take my power through causing sorrow in my life because in the light there is no loss, in the light there is only love, trust, and wholeness. If I remember this in the many moments I face familiar or past grievances, I will not only find gratitude for those experiences, but I will view them with humble, holy eyes.
It takes time to understand a painless world when we have been raised to acknowledge and fix the things that hurt, but I promise you a painless world exists. Wake up and choose light. Let go of the perception of fear in its many forms so the light can grow and cultivate power and happiness in your life.
You are a deserving, lovable, and divine being. Know that the man who broke your heart has no power over you when he can no longer take from you. Know that the loved one who passed isn’t gone when their love is a part of the oneness from which we were created. Know that the things that are taken from you were taking up space where bigger and better things can go. And always remember, give no power to these things, hold no grievances where light is meant to take space, and you’ll find the happiness grows when you let go.