In a relationship with Life.
We have insights, which are basically experience based opinions, many of which are fear based and then many which are truth based. Deciphering the two is important. If I were to define the difference, I’d say the fear based opinions are secondary reactions to our first reaction; in other words we experience something and it ignites in us a feeling or thought, then our rational mind calculates the possible dangers of that feeling or thought and creates a secondary opinion. We often lead with fear based thoughts(secondary opinions) thinking they are intuitive when they are not. They are calculative and controlling.
We are all in a relationship with life. I say relationship because we are in communication with life, in some sort of agreement with life, in so much we are working with life to coexist with one another, society and myself, community and myself, my thoughts and myself, time and myself, etc. In life there seems to be elements that are out of our control, like the inability to have complete control over someone and also complete knowledge of that person and all of their actions, intentions, thoughts, goals, and overall truth. We can only take what life gives us, hold boundaries with life, and decipher the content we accept and the content we’d like to change. Similar to the things we have control over in a relationship. There is a sort of surrendering which needs to take place. Surrender to the belief you need to be in complete control, that you have complete control, and that you are the sole mechanic which changes and writes life.
It is impossible to live without ignorance. Knowledge may be intuitive, or some knowledge. Truth may also be intuitive, or perhaps learned. In fact everything we know could be a complete and utter illusion, victim to a perceived and preferred reality. We simply don’t know. To imagine life like a lover, someone you have feelings for, someone you want to explore, fight for, create with, gives you power in the sense you have the ability to form opinion about it. The key is to then decipher between first and secondary reactions. Inspire knowledge from first and intuitive perception and lead with more clarity, truth, and a little less fear.
We often love others by preparing to combat the things we are simply afraid of. The things our fear notice as possible, learned from “bad” feelings. The moment you search for love through the filter which is constantly weighing the possibility of negative content of a situation or moment, there is less room for truth, less room for your intuition and therefore less room for positive growth, growth which cultivates not fear but pure love in its original untainted and unfiltered form.
Now the question is, “How do I recognize this filter?” Imagine a fear you have, life based, love based; notice the action you desire most, the thing you need in order to avoid fear “I need this person to desire me.” Imagine they do not desire you, then notice the immediate feeling that arises when they do not desire you. ‘ I feel angry, sad, lonely, etc.’ It may seem your fear is loneliness, sadness, anger etc. Ordinarily we then manipulate situations to get rid of those feelings. Our minds say, “Say this, do that, control this, so you don’t feel those things”. Note in the mission to control those feelings, you have completely ignored the original desire “I need this person to desire me”. We are now on a mission to create our desire in the boundaries of our fear based reality, instead of addressing the intuitive meaning of this desire. How do I know the intuitive meaning of this desire? Discover the feeling that makes you afraid of not getting what you want or “need”. In this case, if this person does not desire me, what will I feel? “I will feel that I am not good enough, lovable, etc”. Note that fear has a much heavier weight than the fear of sadness, anger, etc. This is the goal of our communication with life, to discover the true and underlying feeling, not the secondary, reactive feeling.
Communicate with your life from an intuitive place, not a fear based place. This is a learned process. One which takes deep thought and digging through many secondary beliefs. These beliefs are often hard to acknowledge and harder to face, yet the reward is a life where you are facing truth instead of deception.
Imagine a relationship where all of your interactions are based on and inspired by your deepest and most honest desires and thoughts. That’s the goal right? Well the goal takes work. Get your hands dirty and start sifting. Often the greatest wounds are scarred with rules created from fear, imagine a wound healed scar fear, your skin back to its original untouched place, truth will get you there.