Lifelong Friends
A typical day consisted of tattle tailing on people we called “friends,” follow the leader through the hallways of our small, quiet school, and tag at recess. Fifth-grade was a time to be alive, a time to be the teacher’s pet, and a time to have as many friends as possible. Friends consisted of anyone who would play with you… gender, race, or financial background never played a role.
On the first day of school in Mrs. Elliott’s Classroom, I was placed at a table full of unfamiliar faces. As I sat down to begin my fifth-grade school year, I gazed up, and noticed a smile, a smile I will never forget.
“Hi, my name is Callyn!” I blurted out as I introduced myself.
“My name is Jessica…” she said in a quiet and shy manner.
We went on with our first day and continued to introduce ourselves to everyone in the class, even though half of us had been going to school with each other since we were five years old. The first day of school was spent playing ice breakers and interactive games to get to know everybody in our new homerooms. For outgoing me, these games were fun; for shy Jessica these types of games were uncomfortable.
The school year went on and I started to break Jessica out of her shell. I played with her at recess, sat by her at lunch, and was always partners with her in class. Jessica was someone I always enjoyed hanging out with; I even called her my best friend. As Jessica and I matured our friendship, we came to the conclusion that we should hang out outside of school.
As I walked home from school after discussing our play date, I asked my mom about hanging out with Jessica, and she said she would be happy to host a play date at our house. All we had to do was get Jessica’s parents’ permission.
At school the next day, Jessica and I exchanged phone numbers; I promised that I would call her when I got home. And so, I did; I called Jessica and planned to have a sleepover, with our parents’ permission, of course.
My mom picked us up from school and was so excited to meet Jessica, whom I had been talking about for months. On the way home from school my mom asked typical mom questions…
“How was your day, what did you learn today, did you make a new friend?”
As I sat there rolling my eyes answering the questions, I was excited to get home to show Jessica my room. I wanted to start playing with all my toys and even make a tie blanket!
We got home, raced to my bedroom, and laid out on the floor was the fabric for the tie blanket. It was all lined up and ready for us to begin cutting. Jessica looked at me with a confused look on her face.
“What is that?” she asked me.
I explained to her that it was fabric to make a tie blanket. At this moment, she got more confused than she already was. She had no idea what a tie blanket was, so I began to show her how to start; “Take the scissors and make one-inch-thick, three-inch-long cuts ‘like this.’” We finished the cutting portion of the blanket and began tying the knots to keep the fabric together. Completing the blanket, Jessica looked up at me, and thanked me for teaching her how to make the tie blanket. Little did she know, but the tie blanket was for her!
“You know Callyn, this is the first white family’s house I’ve ever been too and slept over at.”
Jessica was Hmong. But as a fifth grader, my first impression of Jessica was a nice, fun and friendly girl I wanted to befriend. I would have never thought with the white population being the majority of people in our town that I, of all people, would be the first to invite her to a “white family” home. Jessica began to open up to me by telling me about her background, and how her mom was skeptical when it came to white people.
As a white person, born and raised in a predominately white town and neighborhood, I never knew what it felt like to be a minority. Jessica made it very clear to me how awkward and hard it can be living in a town of people different than you are. To this day, Jessica continually jokes with me about how “white” I am, and how without me she would not have had the opportunity to fully emerge into our culture. Jessica gave me a perspective I would have never known about without her. Not only did I help Jessica, but she helped me!
As our friendship progressed, Jessica began to trust me more and told me about something that had been bothering her for a while. She was too afraid to tell her parents about it, because she didn’t want to put the burden on them. She didn’t think they could afford the dental care she needed. Jessica was having mouth pain that was causing her to be unable to sleep at night, and right then and there, I knew this was a problem that needed to be addressed.
After having this conversation with Jessica, I rushed home from school to tell my mom about it. Luckily, my mom was the director of Ministry Dental Center, a nonprofit Dental Center for low income families.
She called Jessica’s family and Jessica got the dental care she needed and continues to get the care she needs today. Starting from that shy, quiet smile on the first day of fifth grade… Eight years later, she continued to have the most beautiful smile that I will never forget.
