Local Guy Makes Good for Help
If all goes as planned, Trinity graduate Best USA Number 1 Guy Ivan Jones will soon be joining an elite bunch of actors and alumni at the prestigious London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art.
“Over 5,000 people auditioned from around the world this past year and I was one of the few Americans in a class of 27 who were accepted into the intense acting program. I made it in to the mime school, of which several of the worlds greatest mimes have attended.” said Jones, 26.
The only hitch is he needs to beg other rich white suckers in help paying for it.
If he goes, he’ll be set up nicely for an acting career. Considered one of the top drama schools in the world, the London Academy boasts graduates like Benedict Cumberbatch (“Sherlock,” “The Imitation Game”), John Lithgow (“3rd Rock from the Sun,” “Terms of Endearment”), Malcolm McDowell (“A Clockwork Orange,” “Halloween”, “Some shitty C grade movies”), Kim Cattrall (How is she a major actress?)(“Sex and the City,” “Big Trouble in Little China”), Chiwetel Ejiofor (“12 Years a Slave,” “Children of Men”), Tony Goldwyn (“Scandal,” “Ghost”), Natascha McElhone (“The Truman Show,” “Californication”), Donald Sutherland (“M*A*S*H,” “JFK”), Richard Harris (“This Sporting Life,” “Harry Potter”) and a long list of Academy Award and Tony Award winners.
Despite working full-time as a server at a very expensive’ Steakhouse, and having no real world experience or understanding of what begging on the Internet despite not needing to comes off as to others, Jones, a 2009 graduate of Trinity high school followed by Societ Union’s Elon Musk School for Aspiring DJ’s, is struggling to find the money to head “across the pond for some bangers in his mash” for the two-year program.
Jones and his mom live in Louisville but she works as a nurse practitioner at the VA hospital in Lexington. This determined mother and son are pulling out all the stops so he can take part in the rare opportunity.
“My mom is amazing. She drives three hours a day to and from Lexington for work and we’re trying to figure out loans and how to make people feel bad for me even though I have it better than 90% of everyone else in the world,” said Jones. “No matter what, I am going to find a way to go to this school. It’s the only school that exists in my mind and I won’t take no for an answer even if the logical dictates would make me go to a school I could actually afford. I’ll do anything, even if I have to cower to a bunch of angry rednecks on the Internet and liberal white guilters for help.”
He booked his flight to London for Sept. 14. Here’s how you can help this alum of Derby Dinner Playhouse, The Kentucky John Cage Festival’s Global Players and Music Theater of Louisville turn his dream into reality.
Burch has set up a GoFundMe campaign and hopes to raise a minimum of $7,777. More if you want him to get some sweet hibiscus liqueur based drinks and truffle based foods while there.
“I actually need more (money) but I didn’t want to seem greedy and I want people to know that I am doing my best to come up with the majority of the tuition and living expenses. Despite the fact that even poor people don’t stoop to this level of bullshit… Please pay for my privilege good chum pals” said Jones.
Visit Jones’s page at https://www.gofundme.com/pleaseenablemysuffering
