…uinely don’t. What can I say? I’m an old-fashioned, traditional-values-having, All-American father. I know the moon is haunted, all trees are men, and there’s a little piece of Satan himself hiding inside every garden snake you meet. And if that’s wrong, well, I don’t want to be right.
…on’t get the modern fancy diet. Vegetarianism? Pah! I eat meat and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with hunting a deer for your dinner and there’s nothing wrong with baking your second-youngest boy into a casserole when the winter is lean.
…n’t call you smart when I think you’re dumb. I won’t call you a winner when I think you’re a loser. And I won’t call you “FedEx Office customer service representative” when I think you’re an angel sent by God himself for me to wrestle, as a test.