Get Out Now While You Still Can
It has been an interesting week you could say. I spent this morning working on a big project at work in the quiet. It sucked having to go to work on a Saturday but I got a lot done so that’s good.
My therapist has it in her head that I’m depressed. Pretty much everything that I talk about now she just blames on that. She’s become a real one-note. Don’t know if I’m going to continue with psychology at this time.
Anyway, I have some advice and some news. News first.
I’m officially giving up. I told the universe/god that I knew I could do big things but I needed a chance. My willingness to put myself through the ringer to achieve that was time=limited. If I didn’t get a good chance I wouldn’t throw it in and just quit caring.
I’m giving my notice. I’m giving up on all of it. When things get bad, don’t call me for help during the rebuilding process. Clearly, there is no room for any sort of intellectual leadership in modern discourse. I hope everyone enjoys their partisan politics. I was trying to show everyone a different world but it appears that there just isn’t a demand for that these days.
I surrender. Hands up. Full stop. If it’s the regular life for me then I guess it’s the regular life. I need to catch up on my retirement savings. No matter how I feel about or how miserable I find it. No matter if I know that I can be more and could do more. That just doesn’t matter and I don’t care about fighting it anymore. At some point doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is just foolish. I’ll be grateful for my dumb job, annoying boss, and difficulties. Maybe I will enjoy it one day but in the mean time I will learn to tolerate it at least.
For me, it’s all over. No more grandiose ideas, no more plans, no more anything.
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations!
I don’t have many young people that follow me anymore so I might have to repost elsewhere. Anyway, onto the advice. The advice simply is this:
Don’t mortgage your youth hoping that you’ll be successful.
Just don’t do it. Don’t go after that startup, don’t try to start a business and don’t try to be cool. Don’t try to circumvent what life has become now. It’s not going to pay off.
One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was starting our in life very young. I started my first business when I was 16 and did other really neat things at a young age. I did 2 degrees at a young age and I worked myself nearly to death (twice) just so that I could move quickly towards the life I thought that I wanted.
Complete waste of time. So don’t make the same mistake.
Take advantage of your youth, actually enjoy being young and having time to yourself and such. Don’t try to pack in so much. Play video games, get drunk, and stay up late.
Have fun with life, don’t be a workaholic.
I mortgaged my youth so that I could have success at a young age. I foolishly thought that hardworking and success were analogous and that could not be farther from the truth, especially in our modern age. There are only so many jobs much less anything you actually want to do. There is really no point trying to do anything beyond our limited capacities to survive and have an OK life. Let all that go. Find a job, any old job will do and be sustainable as a human being as soon as you can. If it’s in a growth field, wonderful, if not, move onto something else. But don’t waste your time on foolish things that don’t really have a chance in hell of happening. You’ll waste your money, other people’s money, and a lot of people’s time trying to create something or do something that has limited chances of ever getting off the ground. The chances of being anything other than a regular member of the public is remote the it’s just not worth it.
Keep your head down and don’t rock the boat. It’s just not worth it.
I wouldn’t give this to my 17 year old self because I know I wouldn’t have listened. I hope that others who read this don’t make the same mistake. Please listen. Don’t waste 10 years of your life on foolish things that will never work out in your favor. Instead, seek out a decent job and enjoy life; whatever that means to you.
I don’t know what the future holds for me and frankly, I no longer care. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next 5 hours much less the next 5 years.
Facts are not feelings. I have a good life. My feelings on the matter are not reflective of reality. This is despite of the fact that I want to cry almost daily at some point and everything feels wrong and off and it physically hurts me in my chest. That doesn’t matter, because everything is ok and perhaps one day I will feel as good as things are in reality.
This is a very tough place to be in but I hope that this news comforts people and I hope that the advice helps and I would encourage you to share this with any young person. I have intentionally not cursed during this post so that everyone will share it and understand what it is like when you don’t live in reality and live your life acting like your the exception to the rule. I have lived an interesting life and I have seen and done things that would put people in awe and I ended up here. That is the lesson. I am a living lesson of what not to do. I hope this serves to help.
Have a great life my friends. I appreciate you all.