The Story of the $150 Dick (NSFW)

Alright, this fun new story has to do with getting with a great guy that cost me $150.

So I met this guy I craigslist (I know, I know, I’m moving on). We traded pics and talked a bit and he invited me up to Renton to hookup. He was short, wiry, super lean and had the right kind of equipment. He said he was really into big guys. Jackpot for me! So, I get ready, clean everything out, and I’m off to Renton. Now, we’re doing the morning shift here and so I get there pretty fast and we decide to meet at a gas station around the corner just to make sure everything is cool and such. We meet up and head back to his place. He’s still moving in so there’s lots of boxes and such but the bedroom is pretty set up. He had an air mattress, but it was queen sized and really firm with real sheets. I felt a little sad for having to hookup on an air mattress but at least it was off the floor and made up. It was really comfortable too and easy to work with. So, we talk, smoke some weed, I give him a little bit for later because he’s new to town. I’m the first to disrobe and you can fill in the rest. His equipment was fantastic and a good time was had by all.

Now onto where this starts to cost money. We’ve cleaned up, done some post-cloital talk and re-robed. He asks if I can take him to Kent. I say sure. I also mentioned being hungry and if we could go to lunch on the way. So, we stopped at Southcenter mall and had Qdoba (I hadn’t eaten yet that day for obvious reasons so I was starving!) We held hands and he hung off me in line which made the restaurant workers uncomfortable. He complemented my assiduous bedroom skills and we had a pleasant lunch.

Back out to the car we decide to hang out for a bit and just kick it. We pass a cellphone store and he mentions how his part of his shared cellphone plan is due. It’s about $25 bucks. We walk around awhile longer and I’m telling myself that I’m not going to give him anything. We drive around a bit and we eventually stop for drinks. I bought him a pack of cigarettes and I quietly take out some money. I had to get gas at one point and I didn’t really make him get out of the car each time when I was just running in and out. We keep holding hands, he’s still hanging off me and we’re holding hands and driving. We eventually end up on Kent and I decide that if I were taking someone out on a date I would probably spend this money anyway.

So I tell him I’ll throw him a bone and give him the money he requires. This all takes quite awhile because I’m never in Kent or Renton and I keep missing turns and other such things and I’m very, very high. Uncomfortably so at some points. So, he gets several calls during all of this and he gets a call again. His sister, who owns the apartment building he had just moved to, has paid off the bill. This renders our mission unnecessary. He just needs to bring her the required funds. That’s not far away and he says that he’ll jump out there. I ask about a round two possibility and he invites me back up in the morning for round 2. I drop him off, think everything is a little weird and strange but decide to work the traffic to get back to Tacoma.

I get home and go around the rest of my evening and day. I can’t seem to find my cannabis pen vape. I search my bag and around my room and just can’t seem to find it. Later that evening, I’m stepping outside to enjoy a some cannabis and when I open my special box, I look through the box to find out that all my supply had been snatched! The glass and my grinder was there but all of my flower and my new vape cartridge had been purloined! I decide to search the car thoroughly and find out that all the change I keep stashed in my car had also been stolen, about $20 worth. I’m pissed. you can do a lot to me but don’t cost me money. I text him and ask him what the hell he’d done and why. It took him along time to answer and he never really answered my question other than to deny the accusation and then says, “I got you tomorrow.”

No sir, that is incorrect. You don’t have me tomorrow, or any day for that matter. I erase the texts and add his number to the block list. With all the stolen items and the money I spent on cash to him, cigarettes, lunch, and the gas to get there and back and drive around with him; this 45 minutes of good sex cost me about $150. My dad warned me when I was young there was no such thing as free pussy and I’m beginning to think that extends to all sexual relationships. Anyway, that’ is the story of the $150 Dick.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.