Taste-Testing the New Lay’s Flavors
Let’s admit to ourselves that Lay’s isn’t a dumb company. They’re aware that shoppers are going to approach new and unusual flavors like Ketchup or Classic BLT with a somewhat disgusted curiosity, maybe snapping photos of disbelief to Instagram, but also maybe tossing them in their cart because it’s a stupid Tuesday afternoon and this Safeway is playing TLC.
We as a society have become desensitized to flavors like Salt & Vinegar and BBQ and goddamn Dill Pickle because of their availability and culinary proximity to the origins of such flavors. Oh, wow, someone in the Lay’s creative department ate at a deli and one of their original chips touched a pickle and he got a bright idea. Lay’s are finally coming around to the fact that it’s 2014 and they can’t rest on their laurels forever.
With these new flavors, they’re reinventing the snack game, of course, but the corporate heads are at least aware of the varying degrees in which consumers will test our these revolutionary products. At least they had the sense of decency to export lesser flavors like Maple Moose and Creamy Garlic Caesar (almost definitely the work of a sociopath) to Canada where they belong.
Last year, Lay’s introduced three new chip flavors that were supposedly written-in by everyday Americans and were then to be voted on to determine a new, permanent flavor for all. The varying degrees of risk indicate how far down the rabbit-hole customers want to go: Cheesy Garlic Bread was the first level of risk since literally any human would try it, Sriracha took it a step further because fewer people enjoy a spicy chip, and the flavor profile of Chicken & Waffles spoke to a select few I’ll refer to as The Chosen, and was suggested by Arizona’s Christina Abu-Dujom, who I plan to write-in as my presidential candidate of choice in 2016.
This year Lay’s has done away with naming names, putting the emphasis on the flavors at-hand: Mango Salsa, Wasabi Ginger, and Cappuccino. Praise be to the Snack Lords on high.
Mango Salsa
I started with Mango Salsa because it’s the most plausible flavor to be paired with a chip and likely to be bought the most, making it comparable to Cheesy Garlic Bread of yore. Before you even try this flavor, you’re told it’s a ~wavy~ chip, which means it’s already pretty weird since you only ever see that kind of crap at a barbecue or end of the year party in sixth grade. It gives you time to brace yourself, I guess.
The first chip is plainly underwhelming. Only after the first bite do you receive notes of mango on an otherwise ordinary chip. While the chip contains a sophomoric Capri-Sun-like sweetness, I find the full-bodied quality of the ~wavy~ chip silhouette to be distinctly refined. I take back my disparaging remarks about their weirdness. 6/10.
Wasabi Ginger
This flavor is on a kettle cooked chip, which kind of feels like Lay’s is trying to fit it into a loose narrative about how sushi is somehow exclusively a health food. Bruh, I had a deep-fried roll last month that contained cream cheese and avocado. It was basically one step away from being a sandwich. Please do not test me.
That said, the architecture of the kettle chip works well with these flavors. It’s not as spicy as you’d probably imagine but each chip, like a snack-food snowflake, is unique. After a few more chips, I experienced something I’m just going to go ahead and call “flavor fatigue” and didn’t care for more. Seeing as how this is the clear successor to the Sriracha flavor from last year, I get the sense a few people are going to be into it. 4/10.
Cappuccino
Finally, we return to the classic Lay’s chip. Undoubtedly, this is the flavor that receives the largest negative response from narrow-minded traditionalists. It’s not natural, they whine, It’s an unholy plague to the snack aisle. Man, that’s exactly what they said about Chicken & Waffles before we quietly passed a law that made it our State flower.
When I opened the bag, Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” started playing on repeat and everything went pretty hazy. Are they good? It’s hard to say when, instead of a quick snack, you’re rewarded with an experience. Last time something that crazy happened was when I tried Chicken & Waffles and the sun exploded. 10/10.
