Men Turning 30
I remember, as a guy, as I turned 30, I found some challenges that I wasn’t expecting to deal with.
I realised that as I looked back on my twenties, there were some stories that had repeated over and over again which were not serving me.
I realised that I needed to confront these stories and make a change.
It turns out it’s really easy to feel lost around this age, as you try to figure out who you are in a more ‘permanent’ context.
The twenties is a time of experimentation and you have the perception of having all the time in the world.
However this changes as you approach, reach, and transition through 30 and you recognise some important things.
A man going through this transition will
- Begin to look back on the past decade and usually see’s a number of things that did not come to fruition the way he thought
- He recognises that his focus must become a LOT more long term
- He starts to wrestle more heavily with the idea of his own mortality, and finite time on earth
- He can feel lost, confused and may experience a deep lack of purpose and confusion about his own identity
- For the first time in a long time he might start to ask deeper questions about who he is and what he stands for and actually begin to MEAN IT
- He may lie awake at night, wondering what he is going to do with his life, or if his life holds meaning at all
If he moves through this transition successfully -
- He will begin to develop a more stable ‘code’ of character and operations for his life, he will become significantly clearer on his values, his beliefs and what he is looking for out of life.
This process can be interrupted — and often is.
The reason is because to successfully complete it, a man will need to actually face certain truths about himself.
Accepting or deciding your values means that you will then have to live up to them, which is difficult.
To align your life to these new emerging values — you will need often need to make big decisions.
In my own life, I had to accept that I needed to leave a business that was not in alignment with who I was, and shift.
This was a painful experience and was not without it’s costs.
The opportunity is to re-craft your identity and to define the guy that you want to be moving forward into the next 2 decades of your life (30–50).
It is a tremendous one.
You are more mature, you have experience under your belt and you have wisdom.
You have also likely made some mistakes and are carrying some baggage, and this is an issue that you’ll need to deal with.
If you wish to fully succeed in your life — you will probably need to rediscover your capacity to take risks in the pursuit of what you want.
Old excuses and stories which held you back in the past will have to go, you will need to let go of what other people think, and yet you should expect to be held to account, either by yourself or by those around you — because there will be less room to hide from your repeated mistakes in those places that you have refused to grow in the past.
It’s a challenging time for a man to navigate, but it’s also an exceptional opportunity, and a crucial one if you wish to live an amazing life.
Treat it wisely.