What every European (and more) men should learn about Brazilian women
In Brazil, we have a very famous song called ‘Pagu’, which says in Portuguese: “Nem toda brasileira é bunda” (in English, something like “not every Brazilian woman are ‘butt’”). The song was written by the two very talented and respectful singers Rita Lee and Zélia Duncan — and is a tribute for Pagu, the pseudonym of Patrícia Galvão, a Brazilian artist who has broken a lot of taboos related to femininity and was considered too modern for her time.
Years and years later, I’m in front of my notebook in a “countryside-german- city”, where I’m living now for an exchange program, and I feel terribly sad that I needed to rescue such a lyric to start this text. Since I arrived in the country and started to hang out with some guys (and yes, relationship apps and all of that flerting stuff are not that different in other countries classified as ‘evolved’), I’ve noticed a huge curiosity for some stereotypes that makes me feel surprised, disrespected and angry as hell. One wide open and uncensored example: one german man came to me and said he was surprised by knowing that not every latin american girl could ‘squirt’ (if you don’t know what’s that, is a popular expression in the porn culture associated with the female ejaculation, and obviously men like that can’t reflect the fact of how many women in our countries don’t even know what’s the meaning of a simple and soft orgasm).
The song I mentioned in the beggining is a scream of liberation. Is feminist, direct and absolutely actual — unfortunately. Since I have all the stereotypes of a Brazilian girl body (dark hair and eyes, tanned skin, big butt and boopies) and noticed some desperate men trying to reach out if some myths are real, I can say that I’m more than comfortable to make a list of things that some men here in Europe (yes, not only the curious german ones, but also the italians, french and etc) needs to know about us, the ‘tupiniquins’. Because well: if I was ‘debochada’ (or debauched) in my hometown, imagine how would I be seeing how some guys can act with us and what they still have in their minds in 2019.
Ready? There you go… And don’t forget to click here in the soundtrack to read it all! ;)
- Samba is not just a dance — but dancing samba is something very difficult
I’m impressed by the fact that many men here in Europe still thinks that every Brazilian women can dance ‘samba’ like those ones that appears on the television during the Carnaval. And well, I have a great information for you: the ‘samba’ is a popular music gender associated with identity. Is not only about musical taste, but about how so many people identify themselves with so many songs that talk about the places where they come from. And also, those women who appears in front of you dancing that fast (and NEEDS to be respected as well) have spent a long time practicing. So no: is not every Brazilian girl who can do that, and the ones who are capable of doing that can always say ‘no’ for your invasive demonstration request.
2. Our body our rules — everywhere in the world
If you think that women from your continent are ‘cold’, I can say I’m terribly sorry also for them, who have heard your stupid and desperate attempt of having casual sex. Try to respect every body, every culture, every story and every education background that comes with it, and you will see that a woman is a woman after all — in every place that they come from. So still, is difficult to be one when we have a majority worldwide ‘machista’ culture, and in some places are much more difficult than other ones. We have a lot of things to fight against even nowadays, after all you would call ‘progress’, and you MUST rethink about your behaviour and in how much it invades our space. And AH: we have a HUGE diversity of body types, so you would be impressive of how many different girls we have in Brazil and in all Latin America in general — including the very thin, the thin, the ‘middle in between’, the fat… We are diverse in every continent and we do not have one unique stereotype that fits. Isn’t that amazing? (And yes: the last phrase includes irony).
3. Try to ask more about our intelect and our life — not only our ‘expected performance in bed’
Let’s continue with the place I came from: São Paulo, the universities I had studied, the places I have been, the girls I know… You would be more than surprised to see how many of us have a huge knowledge about everything that’s happening in the world (politics, economy, culture, entertainement…), and not just about ‘the way we perform in bed’. The feminist movement in Brazil (and in Argentina, Chile, Uruguay…) is very strong. There are a lot of social movements with very engaged women fightining for more opportunities of work, better conditions of living, punishment and protection for domestic violence and the culture of rape, space for black women and awareness about their pain and loneliness… The feminist movement is — and must be — plural and diverse everywhere in the world, because we are also very diverse and have our guidelines.
So yes: don’t be surprised about the fact that I like football and know about the results of the last UEFA Champions League edition, that I like music a lot and mainly the ‘rocker’ ones, that I can sing, that I can write and have read a lot of stuff… A brain is a very important part of a body, is not only a complex organ, you know: we also use that very well. And for your knowledge: we are not 100% of our time trying to find an european guy to get married (a huge number of us actually don’t give a shit for it) or thinking about sex. We have fantastic women that are working and studying a lot, and that’s way life supposed to be for all of us, independent of the gender.
4. The porn culture doesn’t apply for anything — and I shouldn’t be writing such an obvious thing
Let’s not get so deep about this topic. You just need to return to the beggining of the text (for the ‘squirt’ terrible episode). The porn industry made you forget a lot of things — and this is a message for boys all around the world. The boops and the clitoris are not that just to be seen, your ‘dick’ is not the power, preliminary is also sex (and believe me: ignoring this has the same meaning for us, women, than slip on a tabog with no water) and more. So yes: for Christ sake, what do you still have in your mind?
5. Naked is normal
Nudity, small clothes and everything like this are not an invitation for you to think that you are allowed to come close if we do not showed you an intention of doing that. The country you came from doesn’t mean absolutely anything — is not like you were doing a favor for us by trying to kiss, have sex or even proposing us a relationship.
6. We are from another country /continent. Not another planet
“You must remember this: a kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh”.
This stretch of “As Time Goes By”, a beautiful song that became famous in Billy Holiday’s amazing voice (and is part of the ‘Casablanca’ film soundtrack) always come to my mind here in Europe in therms of ‘carnal’ stereotypes. Is simple: there’s nothing that magical about other countries, and being with a woman, in the end, is being with a woman. A woman who has feelings, who has ambition and with whom you must, before anything, talk with and have dialogues about expectations, culture and what would be disrespectful in those therms. Have conversations, don’t be a jerk and think that, after all, we are human.
7. Our country is very diverse — and so we are
Every region in Brazil has a different culture and different way of living — and it reflects in our identity, because every one of us can identify with the lifestyle of a certain place. I’m much more the urban style and like to be closed to arts, which is way more different than the ladies that loves hiking, the ladies that can’t be too far away from the beach, the ladies that loves to drink cappuccino in a shopping mall… The diversity is everywhere, as much as our anscestry that makes us so different from each other physically. Think about that.
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In Brazilian Portuguese we say: “Respeita as minas”. Respect women, independent from where they are from.