For years I struggled with my weight. I had negative body image from when I was 13 years old until recently. I have been in my normal weight since I was 29, but until a few years ago — I am 41 years old — I saw myself in the mirror and never felt that I looked good enough. I used to refer to this feeling as the “fat girl that lives inside of me”. This “fat girl” made me feel inadequate and incapable of loving and being loved. Even though I had won the battle against the scale, losing close to 80 pounds, I still felt fat, and unworthy of love. These feelings led me to make hurtful and toxic decisions, making me feel even more miserable, and guilty. All in all it was a downward spiral.

Because of my “weight loss success story” many friends come up to me and ask what I did to lose “all that weight”. This made me start thinking about all of the crazy diets that I went through, and how I was never able to stick to them long enough, because once I was thin I would start sabotaging myself and gain all of the weight back, and my self-sabotage behavior would start all over again.

I have recently decided to dump the word “diet” and substitute it with “reeducate”, and “lifestyle change”. “Diet” is too strong and too negative of a word. It will never bring anyone anything positive. Being on a diet means being restricted from enjoying your own life. People who are on diets don’t go out to parties because they are afraid of eating too much; they don’t accept invitations; they don’t accept compliments. They become obsessed with restriction. They feel that unless they are thin they will be appreciated.


Change your attitude! Change the way you define yourself! Change your lifestyle! Change your life!

That’s right! Redefine the words you use, and you will have a new outlook on things.

You didn’t become overweight in 30 days, so why do you think you will lose 50 pounds in a month?

Another question: what’s the rush? Why are you in a hurry to become thin on the outside if your inside is still heavy? How do you get rid of that “fat person” inside you?

By changing your perspective! By adopting a lifestyle change. By looking at food as if it doesn’t control you. By looking at food as one of the pleasures in life.

Losing weight is a lifestyle change. Not a diet. Diets last for a few months. Your lifestyle is forever. Your weight loss will last as long as your diet lasts, but your lifestyle will be forever.

How about adopting small changes to your lifestyle, such as making healthier choices when you eat?

Notice that in no moment I used the word “restriction”, or the expression “don’t eat this, or eat that”. Instead I said “make healthier choices”, such as:

  • drink more water;
  • walk for an hour every day (or exercise for an hour every day);
  • learn to meditate;
  • Be grateful for EVERYTHING you have, and are;
  • read more books;
  • get a pet;
  • clean out your closet;
  • get rid of old things that just don’t have any meaning in your life anymore;
  • be kinder to yourself;
  • decide to be patient and kind to yourself;
  • drink alcohol only on weekends or celebratory dates;
  • reduce the amount of sugar and refined flour you intake;
  • substitute artificial soda for water or tea;
  • start eating half of what you used to;
  • get a new haircut;
  • pay attention to your life and not others’;
  • make your room or your house into your own safe haven;
  • be in contact with nature;
  • look at the glass as if it were HALF-FULL (I know this is mega cliché, but whatever…you get the picture);
  • ETC….

There are many suggestions I could give you, but you have to find within yourself if you are willing to make the necessary lifestyle changes that will bring you a healthier and more satisfying life.

When you realize that ALL of your daily choices result in your lifestyle, which include choosing what you put into yourself, you will feel in control. You will be able to redefine yourself. You will win the war with the “fat girl” (or boy) inside you. You will finally be truly happy.

Focus and believe in yourself. You can do it!