But I say it. And a lot of other things

Illustration: Cammila Collar

I always thought the catchphrase “HEY, YOU GUUUYS!” was originally from The Goonies. But apparently, it’s a reference to the 1971 PBS children’s program The Electric Company. I was a titch too young to have caught either of these in real time, but like many kids, I grew up with an ancient VHS tape containing back-to-back, taped-off-of-TV recordings of The Goonies and Flight of the Navigator.

From this early exercise in psychedelic kids TV programming to its present iteration, the phrase “you guys” has had quite a journey. Most recently, there’s a perfectly chill, very reasonable feminist movement endorsed by…


Honey, this is so much more than a makeover show

Collage: Cammila Collar

How long until we get a release date for Season 3 of Queer Eye? I can’t handle the anticipation. There’s so much to love about the Netflix reboot of the reality makeover series. It’s not just the charismatic sweetness of the new fab five, and it’s not just that legions of viewers are newly enlightened about the indispensable nature of a green stick. It’s that more so now than when the concept first aired in 2003, it’s crystal clear who the show’s five gay lifestyle experts are helping: male victims of toxic masculinity.

If that sounds like a reach, rewatch…


How to balance a healthy attitude toward sex with the shiny, pouty playthings marketed to our kids

Photo by author

I was born in the 1980s, which came with certain privileges. I got to wander my neighborhood with absolutely no supervision. I got to witness in real time the hilarious futility of the D.A.R.E. program. And I got to live through the first serious backlash against the Barbie doll. Her waist was smaller than her head! Her feet were too small to carry her weight! Parents and psychologists were suddenly concerned that they’d all been unknowingly messing up their children for decades.

My dad loves to recall how, as a precocious young wutzit, I apparently heard a news broadcast summarizing…


Relax. It’s much worse than you think.

Photo by Matthew Simmons/Getty Images

Maybe you’re a normal well-meaning person just trying to reconcile the revelation that your favorite movie was made by a creep. Maybe you’re a manic Woody Allen fan, blathering on like a schizophrenic street preacher that Hollywood is leading a “witch hunt.” Either way, there’s no denying that separating the art from the artist these days definitely seems to be a quandary.

Tough as it clearly is, we should probably keep in mind that it’s nothing new. Before #MeToo outed dozens of well-liked entertainers as abusers of power, before a bit from Hannibal Buress’ stand-up forced us to realize that…


It’s not just enough for women to dress like men. Men need to dress like women, too.

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You know that thing where it’s way more socially acceptable for a woman to wear pants than for a man to wear a dress? That’s about misogyny. In case you were wondering.

Patriarchal boundaries tell both genders to stay in their lanes, and while we’ve made progress over the past 100 years at kicking holes in the guardrails that keep the genders apart, it makes sense that the first areas to give way were the ones that let women be more like men. At best, it’s women breaking down the boundaries of exclusion. …


Accused celebs can do a lot with the right words. So why don’t they?

Every time someone gets #MeToo’d, it’s yet another public epiphany — albeit one with diminishing returns.

We keep confronting our collective gullibility, our misplaced faith in institutions. But there’s a related phenomenon just as ubiquitous to the “Menghazi” scandal that I think deserves more of our scrutiny: the state of the public apology.

Spoiler on that current state: It’s not great. Try to remember the last time an accused creep issued a public response that made you feel even a minor sense of satisfaction. But why should that be, in an era when social media has people more practiced than…


A guide to spotting and dealing with tone policing

One time on Facebook, my friend Jane made a post about a news item in which she used the literary allusion, “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.” Our mutual friend Brent left a comment on the post asserting that the person in the news article had a right to protest, which was protected by the First Amendment. Jane replied, explaining, “It’s a line from Shakespeare. It’s something you say when someone is acting so defensive, it makes them seem more guilty. ‘Protest’ here just means ardently affirming or denying something.”

Brent responded, “Thanks, Jane. I am now blocking you…


A plan to wrestle back beauty from the patriarchy

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

A while ago, I published an article about the sexy spandex costumes worn by female superheroes. Researching it meant browsing through a zillion cinched and hoisted outfits — almost all drawn by men — while trying to determine why some felt athletic and others felt fetishy. Where’s the line between a celebration of the body and a work of exploitation? The question ultimately spat me out in the same anticlimactic spot it seems to leave everyone: I know it when I see it.

Anyway, the piece brought a couple conversations to my doorstep, both addressing that same question but from…


Some issues demand a radical, button-pushing, searingly hot take. But not this one. Not for me, anyway. Honestly, considering how many times I’ve flip-flopped on the topic of female superheroes and their sexy costumes, I’m not in a great position to give you anything but honest thoughts and candid, personal experiences. I know right? Drag.


Do women love true crime out of legit fears or media hype?

It’s not just you. Or your mom. Or that one friend you can talk to about this stuff without them looking at you like, dear God, have you been a morbid sicko all along? It turns out we’re everywhere. Loads of us, tons of us, binders full of us: Women who are really into the freakiest and most gruesome true crime.

And that’s not a popular misconception. Actual studies have shown that women are significantly more interested in reading about these kinds of murders than their male counterparts. Not to imply that bloody true-crime stories are the exclusive territory of…

Cammila Collar

Writer. Musician. Maximalist.

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