The Priest

Formerly known as Bob. (part 5)

“There was an inadvertent mistake in the factory that manufactured the ‘Human’ line of products, and unfortunately it’s not fixable. They will all have to be recalled and taken out of service.”
-Dave Pollard

Ash Fork, Arizona.
Item number three on the list of the Ten Most Useful Things About the Apocalypse is free time. You wouldn’t think that having a massive number of crazed humans running around raping, pillaging, and killing would allow for a lot of time off, but surprisingly, it does.

You get to think a bunch, practice survival type things, go wardrobe shopping, which is always fun, or just dive into the vast, dark, and cold waters that are your psyche.

You can learn a new language. You can even make one up. In the new world, one language is as good as another, so you might as well customize one just for you. Then no matter where you go, you can always pretend not to understand what others are saying, which is something I did even before everything went south. If you are a member of the few, the smart, the alone than a lot of the things you learn might not get field tested on the bipedal, carbon based life forms that you will encounter in the ever diminishing habitable spaces.

Pretending to be crazy had lost a lot of its impact once everyone was crazy, so I decided to pretend to be sane and see if that would scare people off.