How to Land Your Dream Job

Since leaving my career in international affairs last year, I have become a kind of part-time career counselor for people who wait to find a way out of their current jobs–including employees of almost every branch of government, journalists, aid workers, and others who have grown disillusioned with our approach to global problems. And there are a ton of us.

I have a painful message to deliver, not just to those who have contacted me for advice but to every person out there who is contemplating a career change: Your dream job does not exist. Not anymore.

Most of us started our careers believing we were finally getting what we wanted. Jobs in international affairs promise a lot: adventure, impact, challenge, prestige, financial security, and a host of experiences so out of the ordinary that they seem fantastic from afar. But soon, that promise descends into a mess of petty bureaucracy, quibbling over benefits, jockeying for position, guarding against sabotage, and all the other nasty little political games people play when they hate their work and their work is their life. On top of that, the lifestyle leaves little room for anchoring activities outside of work. It’s no surprise that so many once-rising stars now want out.

However, my former colleagues tend to have a rosy image of what they refer to as “the private sector”: a magical land where everyone loves their jobs, makes a ton of money, and has all the creative freedom they want. I’ve discovered that my friends in corporate battle similar illusions when they look at the startup world: If you can just land on the right idea, there’s big money to be made fast. Right?

Not so much. Usually, once I lay out the realities of the current labor landscape (as I understand them), many people feel discouraged. They say, “I just can’t give up my financial security,” or, “I have a family to think about.” I get that and would never criticize their choice to place job satisfaction lower on their priority list.

However, when those same people begin to talk about investing $100,000 in an MBA or JD so they can make a “seamless” transition, my Spidey Senses tingle. Taking on new debt is not a step toward financial security, any more than staying in a career path that’s killing you (and potentially destroying your relationships) is equivalent to prioritizing your family. People who want more freedom in their lives will never find it by simply switching from government to business, or from business to law, or any combination of professions. The change that people like us have to make is deeper. We have to create the world in which we want to live.

Fortunately, the world we’ve inherited is ripe for change. The structures that served us at the turn of the last century no longer meet our needs. Growing wealth inequality, the globalization of disease and political discord, and our desire to do better are all evidence of that. Your (subjective) dissatisfaction with your job, compared to your parents’ generation’s relative satisfaction, is evidence that we are evolving. We may want to trot out the horse and buggy for an occasional ride in Central Park, but that’s no way to keep the modern world in motion.

From where I sit as a member of Impact Hub Seattle, I see a lot of good people launching social enterprises, aligning their passions with the needs of the world and then developing the skills to solve the problems government and business are failing to. I encounter entrepreneurs from all over the world like those in the Fledge accelerator program, who are searching for ways to do business while doing good. I am watching the rise of the benefits corporation movement, which at long last gives publicly held companies the legal right to make decisions based on values other than pure “fiduciary responsibility.” In other words, I see a lot of change.

But it’s not enough. There are not enough jobs in this bubble of inspiration to rescue every overworked, half-dead member of corporate America. Many of us are still figuring out how to keep the lights on for ourselves. As much as I sometimes wish I could build something big enough to hire all the talented people who have come to me seeking rescue, that is not the answer.

That’s why I’m calling on everyone who hates their job to consider another option besides career change: social change. Our bureaucracies, built to serve a system of empire that relied on humans to be interchangeable cogs, are dying anyway. Besides, the only way you are going to get the gig you’re dreaming of is to create it yourself.

This path is not for the timid. Entrepreneurship is a profound and personal journey. Going out on your own, even if it’s just for a temporary transition between your current worldview and the moment you find your niche elsewhere, is scary. You will have to get to know yourself better than you ever thought, overcome obstacles you have spent your entire life avoiding, and give up many things you think you cannot live without.

I’ll reference a Buddhist story, which I discovered via top business coach Olivia Fox Cabane: A wise woman finds a precious stone in a stream, enough to provide for her financial security forever. The next day, she meets a weary traveler who asks her for the stone, which she gives him without hesitation. He leaves pleased. But a few days later, he returns in search of something more precious, and says, “Teach me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.”

To take this path is to give up all your precious stones. It demands that you find within you the thing that is worth more than everything else you have learned to value: money, prestige, perceived success, financial security, predictability, risk mitigation, whatever it is for you. It is no wonder that many people never take that final step into transition until they are forced into it (my own experience was no different). Many of us get stuck somewhere in between for a long time. We are so accustomed to wrestling with the demons of our former lives that we cannot bear to bid them farewell. That is certainly what happened to me.

What also happened to me is that I found the thing within me that I shared with that wise woman. I gave up my heavy stones (namely, the “need” to have people think I’m the best at what I do) and found my spirit infinitely lighter. By that time, it had been more than two years since I took the first step off that other path. Ironically, as soon as I released my attachment to perceived success, I started to receive it. The volunteer work I did out of pure passion landed me a spot on Seattle magazine’s list of the “51 Most Influential People in 2014.” The writing I finally got the courage to share reached someone at a top literary agency. But even if success as I once defined it never comes my way, I know that I will be okay. The effort I have put into dealing with my own problems has made me a better sister, daughter, colleague, and friend, able to help my loved ones navigate similarly extraordinary challenges. I may be broke, but I have never been more free.

If what you have just read disgusts you, I remind you that you can stop reading at any time. If what you have just read terrifies you, know that you are not alone. But if what you have just read inspires you, I have a request: Join me.

There may be a way for you to do that without quitting your day job right now. The social change community would not exist without supporters, such as Social Venture Partners and other impact investors, the Acumen Fund and non-profits like it, and foundations such as Hivos and Omidyar that put much-needed resources and momentum behind social innovators. It also would not exist without the gainfully employed family and friends who chip in for our clumsy crowdfunding campaigns and spend hours counseling us through our darkest hours. You may even be in a position to become an “intrapreneur,” standing up for innovation within your organization and winning support for critical changes. If giving or volunteering or providing moral support meets your needs better than going all-in, that’s totally fine–you are needed right where you are.

But what if you’re like I was, working for an institution that’s making you physically and mentally ill? What if the idea of staying on your current path makes you feel depressed, hopeless, or cynical about the future? What if you want to use this one life to bring all your gifts into the world?

If that sounds like you, then I have to break it to you: You’re one of us. It’s time to toss your resume out the window and get to work. Stop living vicariously through Facebook and inspirational quotes on Pinterest. The Real World needs you. We need you. But most importantly, you need you. After all, the only person who can give you your dream job is you.

I often refer people just starting this journey to Escape The City and urge them to read The Escape Manifesto, along with Seth Godin’s Linchpin. If you’re in a city with an Impact Hub or similar co-working space, just start showing up to events and seek to connect with people. You can also subscribe to the Stanford Social Innovation Review and (shameless pitch!) check out the fifteen inspiring social enterprises that were part of Impact On Air earlier this year. If you live in Seattle, it’s not too late to grab tickets to Social Venture Partners’ Fast Pitch competition tonight at McCaw Hall. From any of these starting points, you’ll discover a fount of resources that grows deeper by the day. You’ll even find some well-meaning essays and potentially accurate advice on candacefaber.com. Wherever your journey takes you, I hope you’ll share it with the rest of us, too. And don’t forget to recommend this post so that others in the same situation can find it!