baby or nah?
I recently began a conversation with a close friend. She shared her thoughts and apprehensions surrounding beginning a family. Conversation caused me to reflect on my life and decisions I made.
I’m 28 years old. At 21, I graduated from the University of Missouri-St. Louis with a Bachelor of Arts degree in English. Not only did I have a job waiting on me days after I graduated, I also was accepted into a graduate program at Webster University.
That summer, I celebrated my 22 birthday and shortly there after began life as I now know it. On August 14, 2010 before God and man, I committed my life to one Mr. Dorian Curtis Hall. Many spectated and criticized our decision to marry at such a young age. For us, we knew with Christ at the center of our lives and marriage, our love would stand the test of time. We could not wait to begin our lives together as one.
After being married for nearly 7 months, we decided to begin our family. It was a decision we consciously made together. Living in a one bedroom apartment with part-time jobs and both in graduate school, it didn’t seem like the thing to do — but God honored our decision to be fruitful and multiply. In 9 months, at the young ages of 23 and 24 we became homeowners. In 9 months, God showed us that people’s opinions had no place in our marriage and the decisions we made. He alone worked and continues to work everything in our favor as we continue to keep him first.
As we continued to expand our family with the birth of our daughter, many responded, “Two is enough,” or “ Ya’ll should be done after this — you have your boy and your girl.” If I had my way, I would have been done but not because of what people had to say. I did not have a desire to go through the pregnancy, cesarean delivery and the recovery process yet a third time. But God said differently.
Our promise, Avery Charles arrived 5 weeks earlier than anticipated. During my pregnancy, delivery and and 7 days in the NICU with my baby boy, God revealed himself to me in ways I cannot even begin to explain. He prepared me for a year leading up to the experience. I remember countless nights laying at the feet of Jesus trying to understand His will for my life and for this life I was to carry into this world. When I look into the eyes of my son, I see my obedience materialized. His very existence expresses my faith and trust in God.
If you are struggling with the decision to begin a family or grow your family, I encourage you to pray and trust in the Lord. Sometimes we have an idea of what we want — what we think is best. Trust in the Lord who sees all and knows all. I could not parent (or do anything else for that matter) without the guidance of the Lord. Is it easy? No — but it’s worth it! I have spent many nights fearing the unknown, worried about would be, stressing about how things would turn out. I can confidently say now that I trust in Him and Him alone.
Throughout our marriage, God has consistently proven Himself to us. Don’t follow the pattern of the world because you think it is what you should do. Express your heart to God and allow Him to direct you in the way you should go. He ultimately knows best.
We began our family young and early in our marriage. If I could do it all over again, I would not change a thing. With the birth of each child, I’ve never felt closer to my husband. As we go through life experiencing parenthood together, I am reminded that he is not only my husband but my best friend.
