How to paint (or distress) those ugly kitchen cabinets.

Over the years I’ve gotten a lot of private messages from people who know I don’t mind taking the time to help them with their home renovation projects. The number one question I get is how to paint kitchen cabinets.

Most don’t have thousands of dollars to hire a professional to spray your cabinets -- and that’s okay, you absolutely don’t have to -- but thanks to a trend in chalk paint, I constantly see folks telling others chalk paint their cabinets.

Don’t do that.

During the pandemic, so many of us have tackled home renovation projects. Painted cabinets are on trend, old houses need an update, and YouTube has made us all an expert. So I’m going to tell you, as someone who been painting for 20 years and who has been making a living at it since 2016, how to paint your kitchen cabinets by yourself in a way that will be able to withstand bacon grease, cooking oil, spaghetti sauce, and anything else that may squatter upon your beautiful white freshly finished cabinets. (Celebratory red wine after a job well done -- even?)

• DON’T CHALK PAINT. There will be folks that will get absolutely fighting mad at this and argue to the death over their right to chalk paint cabinets. I don’t care. I remain unphased. The number one reason the enthusiasts tout chalk paint is “Who wants to do all that prep work?

Would you shampoo your carpets without vacuuming first?

The first thing you have to understand about chalk paint is what chalk paint is. The “chalky" aspect is a super matte finish. Yes, it bonds to surfaces that typically might need some preparation, but there are many powders that you can mix into a flat paint to give it that same adhesion. Chalk paint is marketed to distress easily. For people who can’t do what I do with a stroke of hand (dry brush) or those who don’t want to use a power sander to get down to the wood in “distressed” areas, it’s designed to wipe away with water.

Yes, you can paint a piece of furniture, take a wet rag, and wipe the paint back off.

Which begs the question, why would you want to use it on a surface that comes in contact with water regularly?

Because of that, chalk paint has to be sealed to hold up. Now…. we’re going to seal our work anyway for durability, but why would you want the layer underneath your surface to wash away with water? We’re not distressing our kitchen cabinets so there’s no need for chalk paint. (And if we are distressing them, we will just use the heavier grit of sandpaper after painting and before sealing to expose the wood before sealing.) Moreover, if you do want the really chalky look, there are a couple of powders which can easily be found on Amazon. I’ll be glad to recommend some suggestions.

• PREP YOUR SURFACE. Remove the doors, drawers, and all hardware. Clean your cabinets. Degrease them. Clorox them. Any of it. All of it. Just clean.

There are a lot of options for this, and Lowe’s or Home Depot will be happy to help you. Kitchen cabinets likely have years of splattered cooking oil on them. That’s also where the “Who wants to to do all that work?” of chalk paint loses me. Your paint is only going to look as good the surface underneath. When complete, I shouldn’t be able to lean in close to your painted cabinets and see imperfection and debris underneath.

So step one in this process is actually to clean your cabinets like you caught your now ex screwing somebody on them.

• SAND. Using a fine grit (but not super fine), lightly go over your surface. If your paper is too rough and it leaves scratches in the wood, you’re going to see the scratches in your paint. Again, your hardware store can help you with this. Lightly sand — just slightly rough up the finish — with sandpaper. Using your vacuum attachments, clean up the sand dust, wipe down with a wet rag.
• PRIME. Use Porter Paints primer. Don’t fight me on this. You can lightly sand again after the final coat of primer, but it’s really not necessary unless you see imperfections in your paint. To apply our paint and primer, we’re going to use small foam rollers and a QUALITY paint brush.
• PAINT. Use Sherwin-Williams. Again, don’t fight me on this. If you pay someone $3,000 to professionally spray your cabinets, I guarantee you that they are using Sherwin Williams. If not, don’t hire them. These bloggers, Instagram folks, YouTubers who tell you you have to use chalk paint likely have some kind of sponsorship or endorsement deal with that line. It’s insanely expensive and it’s just not as durable by design.

Now… the paint finish is absolutely up to you. If you want the chalky look, go with flat. An eggshell or satin is going to have a little bit more sheen and more durability and washability. But it won’t look as matte as the flat.

Letting it fully dry to the touch in between coats, paint your cabinets until you believe they’re fully covered. Then paint them again. You want multiple coats, here. If your paint has gotten a little clumpy at any point in time, lightly sand again with the finest of grits. Latex paint can be thinned with just a little bit of water at any point in time if exposure to air is causing it to clump.

• SEAL YOUR WORK. Especially if you are using a light or a white paint or if you use a flat finish, don’t skip this step.

You’ve got a couple options here. As a painter, I should tell you that there ’s polyacrylic and polyurethane. Polyurethane is more durable but it has a yellowing effect on any light colors. So using white, you need polyacrylic (that’s really important). But even a very matte finish of a poly is still going to be a little reflective when the light hits. So if we’re going for a flat, chalky finish, the best option is a wax -- which is why as someone who also refinishes furniture, I will tell you that when waxed properly, you’re going to get a better barrier against water than poly. I choose a wax on woods because it works just like the wax on your car. It’s going to cause water to bead up on it just like water rolling off of a duck’s back.

You can use a floor wax like SC Johnson. If you use SC Johnson’s, you can slaughter a pig on your cabinets and not touch the finish. The downside, there’s a very strong odor and has to be buffed significantly or it will dull. So if you’re an amateur or you’re not into putting a spit shine on your kitchen cabinets, Minwax works well. Just add multiple layers. Let it dry in between. If you can polish shoes, you can wax cabinets. The longer the wax sets, the better your cabinets are going to look.

We’ve covered the paint application, but if are going for a distressed look (like the picture above), I can teach you how to distress your work so that it will look like it fell off the back of the truck and appear as if your paint is chipping and peeling from being left unattended in a barn hay loft for years, yet still be completely and totally protected against anything that comes in contact with it (but that’s another post).

To recap.

• Sanding paper.
• Degreaser.
• Foam rollers.
• A good Purdy brush.
• A quality primer.
• High quality paint.
• Poly or wax.
• Preferably a drill or electric screwdriver for taking your doors on and off.

That’s it.

If you’d like to spray your handles or your hinges: Rust-Oleum, Rust-Oleum, Rust-Oleum.

Don’t fight me on that either.

Questions?