When One Door Closes & Another One Opens…
These past few months I have been doing some reflection on my personal life and I have come to this conclusion —
When the door closes and I have no more minor children living in the home…It will be time for me.
When my current relationship ends. I will have no more men in my life… It will be time for me.
You see (by choice, no regrets, I am who I am due to those past choices I have made) I have never had any “me” time. People ask me who I am and there are days I honestly cannot answer, because I have no idea who Lesia Caggiano is…
I moved away from home at 16 years of age. Had my first boyfriend just as I moved away from home. Turned 17 years of age, met my second boyfriend who then became my first husband 2 years later. I joined the Air Force at 19 years of age and ended up divorcing my 1st husband, had 2 or 3 more boyfriends (flings), then met and married my 2nd husband — we had 6 children together. I became a single mother of six before child #6 was even born. Sold everything off when child #6 was only 9 months old, hit the road, met a man, it got kinda serious until my dearest friend hit me over the head with a 2x4 and I ended that relationship. After 3 years of traveling I had to come home and tend to some legal papers dealing with the father of my children. Met my current boyfriend. We have been together for almost 11 years now. His is 20 years older than I am, so statistically he will pass away before I will.
I have no regrets with all that I have done in my life. The choices I made, I made and am so thankful for those times together with everyone. Especially my children. They are just Amazing kids and I have enjoyed every moment together. I would however like to get to know Lesia Caggiano the person. Not Lesia Caggiano the wife or girlfriend of whoever. Not Lesia Caggiano the mother of Aleshia, Vincent, Rebecca, Victor, Joshua, and Elizabeth. Not Lesia Caggiano the U-Haul Lady — even though that was probably the beginning of starting to see “me” Lesia Caggiano.
Having never had “alone” time. Having never taken time for “me”. When these doors close and the door of being single opens…I do want to find out who this Lesia Caggiano person is.
As it is, when I am “alone” or “have time for me”, I have no idea what it is I want to do. Is it due to having so many choices to choose from or is it due to not knowing who I am…. The conversations I have with myself when I do have “alone” time are quite sad sometimes. Do I read? Do I watch a movie I have been wanting to see? Do I soak my feet? Do I take a walk? Do I call an old friend? Do I catch up on work? Do I take a drive? Do I take myself out to eat? If I go out to eat should I bring something back for everyone else? Do I pull out my crafts I haven’t been able to touch in years? How much time will I truly have to “myself” before someone comes home? Do I want to stop whatever I choose when others come home? (I think you get the point)…
I have heard that this Lesia Caggiano is an Amazing, Compassionate person. I have also heard that she is a great listener. Yet I wonder — What does Lesia Caggiano like to do? What does Lesia Caggiano like to eat? How does Lesia Caggiano like to spend her time? What does Lesia Caggiano like to be a part of?
One thing is for sure, when I do become single again and I am only responsible for me…I will probably purchase another RV travel trailer to haul behind my van and just travel again from coast to coast and from Canada to Mexico. I will say that traveling is in my blood and will do it again when the opportune time arrives. So when that time comes I will be sure to do a travel blog as I make my stops and make new friends.
What will you choose when one door closes and another door opens???
