Three Things You Must Consider The Next Time Porn Tempts You

I’ve always found “Victimless Crime” to be a funny and odd term. Why? Well, the funny thing is that with most “victimless” crimes, there’s usually some sort of victim. We just don’t necessarily see them.

What I often hear cited as an example of a victimless crime is that of using drugs. Who are people victimizing when they go to some street corner to buy pot and get high? Who’s hurt by that? On the surface, it seems like no one is.

However, we hardly ever consider the trail of blood, extortion, and corruption within the drug trade that leads to every single illegal drug purchase. There are plenty of victim’s bodies that line the trail to that “victimless crime”.

This last week, I came across an article about a former porn star turned Christian. As I was reading the account, it reminded me of how often pornography is categorized as something innocuous; like a victimless crime, although not a crime, per se. The reason being is that it shares the world’s same perspective on it: as long as no one’s getting hurt, it must be ok.

Until you continue reading the testimony.

When I got into it, I noticed the all too common theme in her upbringing that precedes this type of career choice: she was a sexual abuse victim. Also present is the common experience of what happens to a woman once she enters the industry.

In her own words, she describes the aftermath of her first experience:

“I remember after the scene, I sat in the shower for about two hours crying. Then I stopped after that shoot and didn’t go back for about one month…”

She also added:

“I ended up going back to it again and that’s when I was numbing myself through taking pain medicine and drinking alcohol to get through the scene.”

There’s no victim there, right?

I don’t want to play loose with the definition of words. I realize victims have no choice in what they’re being subject to and porn stars differ in that sense. However, while this woman might not have been a victim in her past career, being one is what got her there.

Why do I bring this up?

I bring this up because the testimonies of women like these are the things that we as men can turn a blind-eye to when considering the lustful temptation of pornography. But, the fact is, porn is built on them. This reality is what we can conveniently compartmentalize away in our minds as we focus on the attractive facade placed in front of our eyes.

But we must remember: porn isn’t built on the things you see, it’s built on everything you don’t. It’s those hidden and ignored things I’d like you to consider and meditate on the next time you feel tempted by its seductive power.

First, as I mentioned in the beginning, you do not see the victim who is lying in front of you. You don’t see the painful past of a woman and everything that led up to the point where she would consider this line of work. You don’t see broken and hopeless women, self-medicating just to make it through another shoot.

Simply, you don’t see women made in the image of God and it’s probably why those hidden realities are so easy to ignore. You don’t value women the way God does. You only value them inasmuch as they please your desires.

Which leads to my second thing to consider: porn hides the reality of how God created women behind the vision of the way your sinful desires would like them to be.

That’s right, men. I hate to break the news to you: women aren’t actually as preoccupied with the act of sex as you are. God designed them to be man’s compliment, not his equal. Porn continually keeps men in its throes because it feeds the sinful part of you still holding out that women are actually like the false image propped up by its fantasy.

Here’s the truth: you cannot enjoy the sexual satisfaction that a real woman brings without everything else that comes along with her*. Things like emotional connection and sensitivity, the need for deeper communication, and the desire to be actively pursued after. Things you pay attention to when courting a wife but that become convenient to neglect once married.

It’s all of those other things that you never see when you look at a pornographic image. However, they are all the things that make women real.

That’s why porn can never satisfy you, because you’re never seeing a real woman. You’re always seeing a fake one. Just like a mirage of water in a desert, you’ll continue to chase after it only to find that there’s nothing actually there to satisfy your thirst. The thing that’s easy to forget is that there’s a human cost to prop up that mirage and it makes God angry.

Which leads to the final, hidden thing to consider: what helps keep those women in sin is you. Along the lines of “victimless crimes”, you think no one is hurt by your casual peeking.

However, it’s your sinful desire of women and sex that keeps the porn industry chewing up and spitting out women like the one in the article. Don’t be fooled into thinking you aren’t taking part in that.

What do you do the next time you’re considering porn an option? Remember that the women you’re tempted by were made in God’s image, whom he loves and intended for his purposes. It’s meditating on these things that you don’t think of that will actually help curb your appetite for porn.

I’m not above the allure and temptation of pornography. But when I am tempted, I remind myself of the capacity for evil that exists within my own heart to trample and sacrifice the desperate, broken, and wounded for my own pleasure. And even still, God claimed and renewed that heart so that I could fight against it.

If the thought of that doesn’t kill your appetite for porn, I don’t know what will.

(*) Obviously within the bounds of marriage.


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