Why?
Like any other girl, I also dream of having a not so perfect, but yeah a cute relationship, a not so good looking partner, but a loving one.
However, the ups and downs of life, bitter experiences that I am surrounded by and the hard luck in this aspect of my life, has only left me with trust issues and maybe you can say I have become relationship phobic.
There is a constant war which is fought within me. A war of hopes and fear. A war of dreams and doubts. A war where I want love to win but somehow distrust overpowers.
Still being an optimistic person, I am still waiting for my sunshine.
Whenever, someone try to light the flame in the dark room of my life, I blow it away.
Still being an optimistic person, I am still waiting for my sunshine.
And then one fine day, suddenly this room got illuminated. Irritated with this unexpected radiance, I was blinded, physically and mentally. Wanted to know how, how this happened?
A man had stepped in this dark room. I searched for the torch in his hand, so that I can demolish it, but to my surprise there was none. It was his radiant glow that has illuminated my heart, my dark room.
Now, how should I shun this brightness off my life?
Helpless I was, lost my self control.
Hopes were cheering now, dreams surfacing, love was jumping now, how should I compose my emotions now?
How?
It was time to smash away those walls now, it was time to disobey my mind now, it was time to abandon my fear now.
I let myself fly, fly away far from the dark room, in the open sky, under the light of the sun.
Tears in my eyes, no not in pain, these were the tears of overwhelming happiness. Finally, I have set myself free.
When heart and mind started humming together “ Chupke se aake tune….., Dil mein sama ke tune…, Chhed diya kaisa ye fasana…………………………. Oo muskurana bhi tujhi se sikha hai, dil lagane ka tu hi tareeka hai…”
Little was I aware, that I was afflicted by my own evil eye.
Fears coming true, trust vaporised. This time destiny is the one who betrayed me, it never warned me that this phase is momentary.
I blinked me eyes and it vanished away, leaving behind that tear in my eye, which would never fall off my eye.
A man comes one fine day, breaks all locks of my heart, ignite my dark room and walks away.
Why?
When I knew that this is temporary, why I let that brook of love flow?
Why?
When I know expectations hurts, why I cannot restraint false hopes?
Why?
When he never had to halt in that dark room, why he trespassed it?
Why?
The more I try to forget him, the more his imprints gets bolder.
Why?
Why this world decides to mourn, when I have so much to ask?
Why?
