South Africexit — South Africa decides to leave the African continent

In a stunning show of will, might and resilience to even the laws of physics, Jacob Zuma has decided that South Africa will leave the African Union, the SADC zone, and even the African continent itself, in was has been dubbed “South Africexit” — their very own Brexit. South Africa’s parliament has signed into law that South Africa will leave the African continent in 2018, deciding to become their own Island state known as “South”, losing the “Africa” in its name due to its ground-breaking secession.

When interviewed last week, the president was quoted saying how much energy it would take to tear the land masses apart — he is still finishing off quoting the number as we speak. At least four reporters have died of embarrassment, while two were lead to the back rooms after hysterically laughing and their bodies were later found outside the Inkandla homestead.

Many South African scientists have been approached on how exactly this will be carried out, and one has commented saying “Seeing has the people keep voting the ANC, just about anything is possible in this country”. These positive words have been met with much resistant from the international community though, with the likes of Rick Sanchez stating that “the country is so useless that they are likely to go the direction wrong and drive themselves further into Africa. Also, it’s impossible.”

It seems like there quite a lot of mix emotions, but we will endeavor to keep you posted.

- Captain Cuddles