Never stop dating your partner

Awhile back, I received advice from a mentor about relationships. He said “never stop dating your partner”. This article on Elite Daily explains the concept well.

The short version is simple: When you enter a long-term relationship, it is easy to become complacent and just go through your daily routine of getting up, going to work, chatting after work, watching Netflix then going to sleep. Never stop dating your partner means going on real dates outside of your home and customary routine, like when you first started dating. It helps keep things fresh, and gives the relationship concentrated quality time to explore and appreciate each other.

When I originally heard this, I thought about it, and it made sense. I told myself that I would not make the mistake of stopping dating my partner. But as I look back, I actually lost sight of this adivce.

The thing that I did not realize, and the article does not highlight, is that simply going on dates is not the completely right attitude. Specifically for me, I got really comfortable in my relationship, which is not a bad thing. My partner loved planning dates, and over time I just gave up planning them because I did not feel like what I would plan was going to live up to my partner’s desires or expectations. This is actually really poor for the relationship.

What I see now, is that both partners need to take turns planning dates together and independently. There is a sense of fulfillment and excitement that comes from crafting a fun date. It keeps you motivated and invested. I had reached a point where I was not planning any of the dates, I was just going along for the ride, so in the end I was less emotionally motivated and invested, and although it was subtle, it did have a noticeable effect in the long haul.

Key Takeaways: Never stop dating your partner means keep going on dates, even in a long-term relationship. Always work to keep the relationship interesting and fresh, because it strengthens your bond and keeps you invested. Both partners need to take turns in the date-planning process, it helps keep the balance equitable.