While I appreciate the humanist sentiment you’re going for, your word choices are undermining your point. To enumerate (at the risk of taking bait):
- Pretty sure the preferred collective term is not “blacks” — if indeed you employ people of color you can take a quick poll.
- I care how many “greens” and striped mammals you have working for you. Ideally that number is 0.
- Your assignment-checking engineer is unambiguously a “he”, huh?
- Unless your conference was an 18-and-under event, none of your free tickets went to “girls”.
I could say more in disagreement with your conclusions and your approach, but I will assume you have all possible good will and leave off here. But considering my proposal for simple copy edits is nearly the length of your article, before you post your next I would suggest someone else reads it first. To be safe, someone who doesn’t look like you.