Are you stuck at a crossroads in your life? Whether it is our job, our relationship, our thoughts…sometimes it feels like our whole life is wrong. Then the questions start….what if this is as good as it gets….what if I change things and its even worse….what if its me? and so it goes on and we are stuck in a never ending cycle of negative thoughts and procrastination.
So, what do we do now?
Well as it happens, there’s quite a lot we can do…..
- Slow down….I don’t just mean physically (as you may have already ground to a halt) but mentally as well. If that is really hard to do, try writing these thoughts down. Start catching them rather than letting them whizz around in your brain to the point you can’t think straight.
- Identify why you feel trapped.…is it your job, kids, family, finances (or lack of), lifestyle, where you live, the thoughts that keep spinning out of control in your head…the list of possibilities is endless.
- Write these down….getting the issues in black and white really helps to focus on the problem.
- Identify the pros and cons of each issue. For example, if it’s your job which is the issue, write 2 columns, what’s good and what’s bad, then study the balance. Sometimes we discover there’s a lot we like about something but we have become stuck in a negative thinking pattern.
- Review priorities. There are times we choose to accept a lot of things we don’t like for something that we do like a lot. Many people stick in poorly paid jobs because they are doing what they love and choose to forgo other benefits money can buy…..and vice versa.
- Review your life. When you have completed this exercise for each aspect of your life which you feel trapped by, review the balance. What aspects are most important and non negotiable and which aspects, on reflection are not important. Here you can even have a dream session and figure out where you would like your life to be in 1 and 5 years time and work out if that dream could become reality.
- Sit back….literally sit back and give yourself some distance, physically and mentally from the situation and think, if this was your friends life, figure out what you would say they should do.
- Plan….we often can’t change things overnight, but we can put in place the plan to start living a life we are contented with and makes us feel fulfilled.
Now you are thinking…
I am just stuck, nothing will help, everything I try fails…the negative voice chips in again! Just give this a go. what have you got to lose? half an hour? and what have you got to gain? a whole new life!
Change can be hard for all of us and sometimes we just need a bit of help to get going. If this is you by all means get in touch by visiting www.cardiffcounsellingservices.co.uk
