Having It All Kinda Sucks
amywestervelt
2.8K263

Wait a minute. As much as I enjoyed your article and appreciate the struggle you must have as a working mother of two kids, you’re missing a big (no, massive) hole in your argument…this was your choice.

While I appreciate your plight, I can’t sympathize with someone who consciously decided to have a child — not once, but twice. If you thought the first child was hard, why did you sign up for round two and then write a big long article to complain about how hard it is???

And why do we have to wait for society to change the narrative for women? Why wouldn’t you just change your own narrative and go on with life? You can’t have two kids and then point a finger at the world for pulling the wool over your head about how hard it is. You KNEW it would be hard. So why did you do it?

Did you have kids because the societal pressure of being childless like your poor friends who constantly get quizzed about when they will reproduce was too much to tolerate? That’s ridiculous. You had kids because you wanted them. You have a job because you need one. You also have free will and a brain, so you had all the faculties necessary to weigh the consequences before you did away with your birth control pills, so is it really a narrative problem you have?

I’m a woman who has a husband, a job, and two great little dogs. In my opinion (the only opinion that matters) I do have it all. I’ve seen mothers who also apparently have it all and I decided it wasn’t for me. I, like you have the privilege of making these decisions for myself. I did not invite any societal narratives into my decision-making process about having children, because frankly, I don’t give a shit what society thinks, and neither should you or your childless friends.

We are empowered, educated and self-sufficient women living in an era where our decisions are finally our own, thanks to many women before us who have fought for that right. Let’s use that privilege to make sound decisions about our reproductive rights that make sense for us and our personal lives. Narratives are stories, and the one you’re telling right now is a little misguided self-serving.

I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors. My fingers were in a fury when typing this response.

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