When did you change? When did this happen to us?

Why are we scared of each other?

You represent my insecurity. You hold up a mirror to my fear.

You smear my own self loathing in my face with your anger.

It stirs up inside me like a harsh wind stirs the darkness.

I have finally come to recognize me.

It is me who I see when you look at me with anger.

The rejection and emptiness that comes in the form of a pause or a judgement yanks the suppressed, beaten down, muffled screams of fear and flips them on the pavement for the world to see.

I panic at their presence and run.

I turn away with fear that their ugliness is only who I am.

Standing face to face with my ugly is your fault. I blame you. I hate you.

I resist for years.

Until I don’t.

Until I open my eyes and walk into to wind.

I hold my head up and breathe. I feel the darkness and I wrap my heart around it.

I imagine an enlightened Hand wrapping around the screams holding them gently until they start to soften.

I bend down and embrace the small child of fear and I hold her to my Heart. She melts into me.

She becomes me.

I become strong and brave and okay.

You held up a mirror to me and I finally come to recognize me.

For that, I love you.

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