How your relationship with your mother can impact your business and your life?
What is it to be a mother? Sunday was Mother’s Day, a day to celebrate mothers all over the world, but why only one day? Relationships with our mothers are complicated, we love them, and if we are honest with ourselves sometimes we hate them, however we wouldn’t be sharing this story without them or making our impact on the world!
So, on this premise alone we should honour our mothers daily.
But what does this have to do with my business, you may ask?
What can we learn from our relationship with our mother? How do these relationships influence our business?
In my practice I have worked with many mother-child relationships, these are my observations and reply to these questions.
Most of the times our relationship with our mother is convoluted causing shock-waves throughout life and especially business, resulting in a vacillation between being stuck and indecisiveness and optimistic, causing a push-pull effect. This is harmful to our business and life and this is why…….
1. Remember the last time you were with your mother? Most of the time when we are in the presence of our mothers we revert to a childhood, regardless of our current age. CM’s mother had a certain look when she disapproved of her when growing up. If she looks at her in this manner now, she immediately becomes that child, feeling shame and becoming defensive.
This state of mind influences the way she conducts business, it’s difficult for a 5 year old or 12 year old to make business decisions, she immediately becomes the 5 year old, it’s difficult for a 5 year old to make adult decisions! It makes her less creative and increases doubt, shattering her success as a person and as a business.
Can you see how this influences your business by affecting the decisions you make, it is tantamount to heal this belief within yourself and your relationship with your mother.
2. I’ve struggled with acceptance from my mother all my life, with no avail. Until one day, after another contentious argument, I took a step back, realizing that we were mirroring each other, she wasn’t accepting me and I wasn’t accepting her!
The question I asked myself was, “where is my mother mirroring my behaviour?” Honesty with myself was vital at this point, the resulting awareness was astounding and caused ripples within my business. The outcome of accepting each other dissolved many obstacles within my life and my business, taking us both to the next level.
3. MM’s mother’s call is, “get a real job, what is it that you are doing, get a real job” this inner conflict affects self-belief. If self-doubt creeps in, then business declines because effectiveness declines.
The screaming question is why listen to her? Why not just walking away? This is tempting, however by not facing the issue, the issue moves underground and then there is no way of seeing the havoc it causes.
What to do…. walk in your mothers shoes, where she is coming from? With this you can understand and realise that she is doing the best she can. The way you interpreted this depends on your attitude at the time, and a choice you can make is either give up your business or go out and make your impact!
4. Why is it so difficult to forgive your mother, because it’s so difficult to forgive yourself? Most of us spend too much time in the past, regurgitating incidents where we think others have harmed or hurt us, and our mother is no exception, in fact she can be the greatest culprit. The lack of forgiveness on our part and the lack of releasing the past, keep us victims in our lives. This is detrimental for our business, we hide, expecting others to save us and we stay small, with that keeping our businesses small. So forgive your mother but most of all forgive yourself for the part you think you played.
Do you see how your relationship with your mother can grow or shrink your business?
So, celebrate and honour your mother every day!
How has your mother impacted your life?
Remember you’re Awesome!
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Carina Ghionzoli is a Transformational Coach and Writer. When she isn’t coaching clients to transmute their fears, she creates courses and writes. You can also find her on LinkedIn