Higher Reflective

The Internet Taught me to Shave

I suppose I’m what the older generations would call a ‘digital native’, and you’d definitely be shocked if you knew how long I spend or what I get up to online. But don’t panic — this isn’t a confession to cause you concern, only a glimpse of what a millennial calls home.

The internet sure can be a scary place, with trolls and perverts lurking, but it’s definitely worth exploring. You never know what you’ll find — maybe the cutest animal or news from a long lost relative — but you’ll most definitely learn something. Some of the most important lessons for me have not been from a teacher, but through a screen. Because of this, I think that I see the world very differently from my parents. After all, they did not have access to millions of viewpoints, like I do, when they were young. And honestly, I think I know more about our world from the internet than from them.

The internet never stops. You can keep scrolling and scrolling, clicking link after link, but I promise you’ll never reach the end. There are sites for everyone and the paticular one I visit, so often it’s a hobby, is tumblr.com — a blogging platform popular with late teens. Although Tumblr is often associated with crazy fans — think Cumberb*tches and Potterheads — and crazier feminists, there is so much more to discover on the website. You can follow blogs about anything from art to fandoms to linguistics to ‘meme’s and so on.

It was on this website that Ernest Hemingway’s famous six word story found its way onto my feed:

“For sale: Baby shoes, never worn”

Obviously there is much more information here than the sum of its parts. We can picture a hopeful mother, heartbroken, having to pass on her baby’s clothes after miscarrying. Along with Hemingway’s were a dozen other stories, but the one that stuck with me was:

“My mother taught me to shave”

It’s maybe not as straightforward, but I think it implies something very significant — but maybe not relatable for the next generation.

Take a moment to read over it again. As I see it, this story tells of a male narrator, who lacked a father figure, who was possibly wealthy (use of “mother” rather than “mum” being our only clue). I could go on to say that I imagine the father is too busy with work to care for his son and teach him valuable life lessons such as shaving. But I don’t think we can make these assumptions any more. I have both parents and they were active in my life, but neither of them taught me to shave.

Learning to shave is often seen to be a defining moment: a milestone that shows you are finally a man, like a boy’s first period! However, while my father most probably saw his father shaving over the kitchen sink before work, I never had that experience. We now have large bathrooms and locked doors giving privacy, but taking away common knowledge. So how do I, age 13, figure out the mysterious process of removing those embarrassing first sprouts of hair? Because of my own pubescent embarrassment, and my internet savvy, I instead learned from a two minute YouTube video.

This video gave me all the information I needed and more, and I realised the stark simplicity of it all. In the end I managed just fine, thankfully I escaped without a telling cut or a Home Alone-esque brush with the aftershave.

So this is why those six words may no longer be relevant: I, like many others, no longer rely on a parent for information — we rely on the internet. After all it is probably more accurate and definitely more convenient to Google. Why bother asking mum and dad how to fry an egg, when I could get Gordon Ramsay or Jamie Oliver in my kitchen? Besides there are even sites like reddit.com which have communities to ask questions, so before I even thought of asking a question, they were already answered.

This is how I’ve been whiling away all my hours, an endless online buffet of education and humour. So there. I suppose my secret’s out: this is what I’ve been doing behind closed doors! But don’t for a second think that back in your day that you were above spending hours away from your parents, I know that before the internet you were reading books or gossiping on the phone or hanging around the streets.

I mean, it’s only natural for teenagers to want freedom and to get away from ever-prying parents. I know it is hard for you now because you are on the receiving end, but I highly doubt that you openly talked about every facet of your life when you were 16. “Sure mum I have friends. No mum, I don’t do drugs. Yes mum I’ll do my homework, and no! I’m not being bullied!” These are retorts we’ve all given, swiftly trying to get out of a dreaded conversation.

Nowadays our world is so much larger than just our neighbourhood, not even a library can offer any competition. No longer are we limited to the confines of a book’s fantasy world: we can participate in communities; we can watch videos of people that we can relate to; and most importantly of all, I suppose, your parents don’t have a clue what you’re up to. And, yes, it is scary as a parent that your child could be accessing any number of horrid sites, but why would they? It is most likely that they’re mindlessly watching a hilarious video or looking at the latest ‘meme’.

But there is a chance, and maybe not that often, that they will see something that really connects with them or makes them think. It is these moments online that offer so much value: learning about your place in the world or discovering your identity.

For me the most significant lesson I’ve learned is to always examine what you’re taking in, don’t assume that everything is as innocuous as it seems. Nothing is ever safe from scrutiny, not even cartoons! Why is the brother always dumb and the sister clever? (I’m looking at you The Simpsons and Johnny Test) Does Jasmine in Disney’s Aladdin really need to have a waist half the size of her hips? Can children understand concepts such as privilege? But more seriously I’ve also learned to critique myself: Why do I never think men are ‘fake fans’? Tough questions such as these need answers and hopefully they’ll help me improve as a person.

Though the internet may have potentially stunted my relationship with my parents, it has overall benefitted me. Maybe someday I’ll regret not spending more time learning from them, but I think my awareness of the world is priceless. After all I wouldn’t be anywhere near as mature if it were not from seeing such a variety of viewpoints from across the world. We’ve always had access to the internet; I think we’ve found our way.

So trust us. I promise we aren’t up to anything malicious, only searching for something we can see ourselves in. And I see no end to how helpful the internet can be going forward, when I become a parent the answers to every babbling question is a ‘Hey siri’ away. Maybe I’ll even be there to help when my son picks up his first razor but, if not, it won’t be the end of the world. After all, the internet taught me to shave.