This is a very fair and important question.
Emily Ladau
21

Thank you for responding to my question. My biggest takeaway from your article is that even the noblest of intentions are vulnerable to unconscious bias. In this case, one considered another of a lower rank or of being defenseless, even as they spoke in the spirit of advocacy.

I’ve been on the receiving end of help and there were instances when I came out of it feeling less dignified when the helper’s intent was to empower me. I used to frustrate me when I’d feel less grateful than I thought I could and should. It took a while to realize why: I was treated like a charity case by someone whom I was expecting to treat me like the equals that we are.

When we help others, we do so as their equal, not as some benevolent being looking down. We don’t need a savior. We need allies — brothers and sisters — to remind each other that we’re all in this together.

Thanks for the inspiration.

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