Break Up Log

April 26, 2016

6pm: I’m feeling really good. I had a great day at Uni, caught up with all my readings and I’m now painting in my kitchen to the sound of Justin Bieber’s “Sorry”.

7.30pm: He just texted me asking if we can talk. I think I was very explicit when I texted him saying PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY TO CONTACT ME AGAIN AND LET ME MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE, after waiting 4 days for him to call me back or acknowledge my existence at all.

7.32pm: I’m crying because I love him and I want to get back together.

7.37pm: I texted him saying NO, I REALLY CAN’T. HAVE A NICE LIFE.

8.00pm: He rang my doorbell.

8.05pm: I’m crying because I love him and he rang my doorbell.

8.06pm: I moved, the floor cracked and he knocked on the door.

8.07pm: I’m standing still in front of the door waiting for him to go away.

8.31pm: He is still at my door and I can’t move, not sure if due to panic or weakness.

8.45pm: I heard him go down the stairs.

8.46pm: I looked out the window to check if he was really gone. He is in front of my house waving and saw me looking out of the window. I hid.

8.48pm: I feel very stupid.

8.55pm: I texted him saying OK, COME UP FOR A TEA.

8.57pm: I’m shaking waiting for him to come up.

8.58pm: I remember I’m going to the theatre at 10pm.

9.10pm: He texted me I HAD JUST GOT ON THE BUS HOME ILL BE BACK IN 5 MINUTES.

9.22pm: He rang my doorbell again.

9.24pm: He is now inside my house. I haven’t said a word to him and I’m not planning on doing so.

9.25pm: We are sitting at the kitchen table. I’m smoking a cigarette. He is rolling a cigarette; he didn’t even dare to ask me for one of mine.

9.26pm: He asked me for a glass of water. I really can’t look at him. None of us has said a word yet.

9.29pm: He is smoking his cigarette. I’m smoking my second and I’m looking at him, waiting.

9.32pm: He finished his cigarette and said I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR MY LIFE BUT YOU ARE NOT IT I NEED TO THINK AND I NEED TIME FOR MYSELF. I thought I had already figured that out by myself, thus the “never contact me again” text.

9.33pm: He said MAYBE ILL GO NOW, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK. I said MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO YES.

9.34pm: He left. We never touched. We don’t touch since the last time we were having bad sex last week.

9.35pm: I’m crying on the kitchen floor. I hear him banging the door on his way out.

9.41pm: I have to go to the theatre now.

— — — — — — — —

11.20pm: The play is finished. I only cried when the lights were off.

11.55pm: I just got home. I will start drinking as soon I take my shoes off.

April 28, 2016

0.05am: I texted him YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK and FYF YOUR MOTHER IS A STUPID BITCH AND I NEVER LIKED HER.

0.10am: I texted him YOU ARE A REAL PIECE OF SHIT GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SATANIC PRICK.

1.20am: I’m very drunk watching Grey’s Anatomy. I missed two episodes. He didn’t texted me back yet.

1.23am: I texted him I LUV YOU BABY WE CAN BE SO HAPPY.

1.35am: He didn’t texted me back yet.

1.37am: I texted him I HOPE YOU DIE ALONE AND IN PAIN; I deleted his number.

1.38am: I’m crying because I don’t know his number and I’ve deleted it.

1.46am: I’m still crying and now I realized I’ve also unfriended him on Facebook.

1.52am: I got a Tinder match.

1. 53am: I’m still crying.

2.34am: I have a date next Saturday.

2.37am: I’ll go to bed now.