From Romeo and Juliette to Heathcliff and Cathy, everyone enjoys a forbidden love story. When Leonard Rhinelander, 22, fell in love with Alice Jones, 18, in 1921, he probably knew his influential and aristocratic family would never approve. Alice worked as a maid and came from a blue-collar family. Leonard was your typical playboy, trust fund baby. But it wasn’t just socioeconomic class that the two love birds had to overcome.
Alice Jones was of mixed race.
Undeterred by society’s obstacles, Alice and Leonard eloped in October 1924. They tried to keep their marriage a secret, even paying reporters to…
Tons of media attention falls on how women struggle with body image. We worry our stomachs are not flat enough, our butts are not round enough, and our breasts are not perky enough.
But research shows heterosexual men have just as many body insecurities and worry about attracting women. Even more alarming, recent research from the American Addiction Centers found male body dysmorphia (BDD) is on the rise. But unlike the female obsession to be thin, the male fixation on the perfect body goes by a different condition — bigorexia — an unhealthy obsession over building muscle mass.
I recently adopted two kittens, and I am trying to seduce them.
Dog owners won’t get this. A cat’s love has to be earned. Unlike dogs, cats sometimes won’t come when you call them. (Even though research shows they damn well know you are calling their name!) When they rub up against you, they are not just saying hello but transferring their kitty smells onto you because they think you should smell like them. And most manipulative of all, they adopted their plaintive meow to sound like a human baby crying.
Well played, kitty. Well played.
We all know the…
She sat on the porch waiting for him. Her son with the cherubic face and hair as black as molasses. He always arrived home at the same time every day.
She was looking down when she heard the screech of the car. In one life-altering second, his body broke like a jigsaw puzzle under the truck’s wheel. His skull pumpkin splattered on the side of the road. The authorities later said he died on impact.
Her son. My father. Dead.
Except it was not my father’s skull crushed under the wheel of the truck. It was another mother’s son. But…
It was my fourth date with Robert,* and I was finally comfortable with him picking me up at my house. He arrived, and I headed out to his car. As I sat down, he turned to me and said, “That’s a big house for one adult.”
I never know how to respond to these statements, but I usually deflect with humor.
“Yes, I better get procreating and fill those rooms with babies.”
I never heard from him after that date.
I have grown accustomed to this pattern. The first few dates go smoothly. We laugh, flirt, spark each other’s intellect…
Even our prehistoric ancestors knew that to commit the perfect murder, you must get rid of the body.
Fortunately, nature does a pretty good job of making a body disappear. Bacteria in the air begin to break down the body’s cells twelve hours after death. As tissue decays, a green mix of methane and hydrogen sulfide ooze out and create a pretty bad stench. You probably wouldn’t appreciate the smell, but maggots do. They start scooping up the green goo like licking icing off a cake.
In seven days, maggots will have eaten 60% of a human body, unless….wild animals…
Writers never write about their homes until they leave them. Hemingway couldn’t write about Michigan until he arrived in Paris. Faulkner had to escape Mississippi to write about the South. Joyce fled Dublin only to write about Dublin.
He had been my home. Where would I flee? What dark, secret antechamber was far enough from this maddening pain to sit with the memory of him?
He was nowhere and everywhere. The stain on the nightstand marked the place he once placed his water. The dusty rug in the entryway no longer had his shoelaces entangled with mine. …
Blood flows into the genital region as an intricate network of nerve cells fires in every direction. Five inches (on average) of delicate tissue pulsate and throb. The organ hardens, expands, and longs to be stroked. The tip gets the most sensitive. It aches to be licked.
This is the story of arousal. You might have thought I was describing a penis. But I wasn’t. I was describing the clitoris’ role in female arousal.
How does this story end? A recent survey found 64 percent of women versus 91 percent of men had an orgasm in their last sexual encounter…
A few months ago, I went on a first date with someone that felt like I was surviving a Hunger Games reenactment. He fired one tough question at me after another. By our second drink, he took a deep breath and said, “I know this might sound like a job interview question but…(insert next existentialist question here).”
Ok, here’s a tip — if you are about to ask a question that “sounds” like a job interview question, then…it probably is a job interview question.
By the end of the night, I had given him a detailed timeline of short and…
A few years ago, I had a seizure in the middle of a party. Since I had no history of seizures, my family doctor ordered a battery of tests, including an EEG, to determine the cause.
The day after the tests, the phone rang. It was Dr. C.
“Well, I have some good news and some possibly bad news.” Dr. C said this more as a question than a statement. Like he was asking me if I wanted cracked pepper on my chicken.
I clenched the phone tighter.
“Ah, ok,” I stammered. I knew it. I had the first stirrings…